me, myself and i

Fate is Sure

2008-06-20T15:59:00.001+08:00

It is not knowledge keeps a man secure -
With all his understanding, fate is sure;
Each moment we receive a different guest.
And each that comes presents another test

- Farid Ud –Din Attar, The Conference of the Birds -

Clear waters

2008-06-16T12:19:00.000+08:00

I was swimming one fine afternoon. As I did my laps, I was besotted with its silence, clarity and beauty, for I have a love affair with anything-water. For a moment though, morbid thoughts struck me. I could easily drown. Our limited beings are weak, dependent on none other than His Favour and Mercy.

And He it is who sends forth the winds as a glad tiding of His coming grace; and [thus, too,] We cause pure water to descend from the skies, so that We may bring dead land to life thereby, and give to drink thereof to many [beings] of Our creation, beasts as well as humans.
25: 48-49

Have you ever considered the water which you drink? Is it you who cause it to come down from the clouds - or are We the cause of its coming down? [It comes down sweet - but] were it Our will, We could make it burningly salty and bitter: why, then, do you not give thanks [unto Us]?

56:68 - 70

Say [unto those who deny the truth]: "What do you think? If of a sudden all your water were to vanish underground, who [but God] could provide you with water from [new] unsullied springs?"

67:30

To the Virgins, Make Much of Time

2008-05-20T17:40:00.006+08:00

Got another surprise after lunch, with a bunch of sweet smelling white lilies (one of my favourites) on my desk; from a colleague to brighten my mood during my last few days here. I love gifts for non- occasions – be it a chocolate bar, a stalk of flower, a pretty note, a sweet email. Many of which I have gotten in my two and a half years here (especially on highly stressful days), forming sweet memories and friendships that I will always treasure, insya allah.

The sweet flowers reminded me of one of my favourite poems (from one of my favourite movies). As I move on to a new career, may I make much of time; touching lives and healing hearts. Mine included.

To the Virgins, Make Much of Time - Robert Herrick

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,

Old time is still a-flying,

And this same flower that smiles today,

To-morrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,

The higher he's a-getting,

The sooner will his race be run,

And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,

When youth and blood are warmer;

But being spent, the worse and worst

Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,

and while ye may, go marry;

For having lost just once your prime,

You may for ever tarry.

Of Gangs and Alleys…

2008-04-23T10:14:00.001+08:00

Last night, I was just done with my Maghrib and was about to leave the mosque when I heard a commotion, which sounded like a gang fight. The pakciks (uncles) at the mosque immediately rushed out. I looked out from the musollah and saw a group of young men running away frightfully into the dark walkway.

When I went out of the mosque, I saw a Bangladeshi lying on the ground and pakciks standing around. I asked if he was stabbed. Nope. I contemplated between calling the police or the ambulance. I wasn’t thinking much but I thought maybe the man needed an ambulance and went with my instincts. I hope he is well now.

Fear crept into me as I walked into the dim walkway that the young men ran into just a few moments before – overpowered by 5-6 big sized men, I could be easily stabbed or worse. I decided that I should put my trust in God, and coaxed myself – it ain’t that bad to die while walking to a class in which you are seeking His ‘ilm.

I have been thinking about it ever since. Maybe I should’ve called the police. Maybe I should’ve gone out the moment I heard the commotion and gave the salam to these young men. Maybe…Maybe…

What is clear though, is that I need to do something more...

May God give me the strength and guidance in doing so...

Insya allah.

i'm yours. jason mraz.

2008-04-10T12:22:00.003+08:00

I had a huge crush the moment I heard it. A closer look at the lyrics and a sighting of the music video depicting his journey sealed my love for the song (and the singer?).

Simple yet profound, it can be largely interpreted to be a lover’s realisation, journey and conversation with his Lord. Spending too much time on non-events, we are indeed distracted from the reality that we belong and will return to Him. And once we know the real reason for BEING, we will not hesitate to realise our purpose, potential, and our chance to be with our ultimate love.

* * * * *

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
i love peaceful melody
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
My breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what i'ma saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate Our time is short
this is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find the sky is yours
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A lá one big family (2nd time: A lá happy family; 3rd time: A lá peaceful melody)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No please, don't complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
No please, don't hesitate
no more, no more
It cannot wait
The sky is your's!

.: mermaid :.

2008-04-08T12:44:00.001+08:00

I watched the movie, Mermaid (2000), over the weekend. Based on a true story, it is a heart wrenching tale of a young mother and daughter coping with the sudden death of their beloved husband and father. The 4 year-old daughter writes a letter to her dead father and attaches it to a balloon with a picture of a mermaid, which miraculously ended up in mermaid lake, a few thousand miles across the country. She receives a reply from a family who found the letter, and managed to overcome her depression.

Besides the beautiful story/miracle, what struck me was the mother’s struggle to cope with her husband’s death; wanting to move on and socialise and yet feeling guilty for not continuing to live with memories of her husband for months.

I realised then, that in Islam, we have the perfect solution – iddah, a period after divorce during which the woman is not able to marry another. Time bound, it gives time for women to cope with grief, and a guide (and license) for them to move on with their lives.

Whoever from amongst you dies and leaves behind wives, the wives will hold themselves [from marriage] for four months and ten days. Then, when they have expired this period, there is no blame upon you in whatever they do regarding themselves, according to the recognized traditions. And God is fully aware of whatever you are doing. And there is no blame upon you in proposing [marriage] to these women or in keeping such proposal to yourself - God is aware that you would mention it to them - but do not make with them any secret commitments, except that you say a noble word to them. However, do not commit the marriage-contract with them, until the law has reached its prescribed time... (Al-Baqarah 2: 234 - 235)

.: hearts :.

2008-04-01T11:53:00.004+08:00

I was at a train-the-trainers session with our consultant from u.s. yesterday and we were discussing what qualities are essential for a good trainer. The usual “confidence, good knowledge, ability to engage” and etc were aired.

But he highlighted that what is most important is SINCERITY - It is difficult to deliver what you don’t believe in.

Yet, there is no denying that there are those who are able to sell (and sell well) what they may not necessarily believe in.

Does it matter, really? For it is not our business (or ability?) to know whether one meant what one says, or whether one truly believes.

But the heart doesn’t lie, and He knows it.

"Whether you conceal what is in your hearts or bring it into the open, God knows it: for He knows all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth; and God has the power to will anything."

Al – Imran 3:29

And, I was reminded that what comes from the heart will touch the heart of another.

Very important in this business of “touching hearts, changing lives.”

Be Whole.

2008-03-27T17:54:00.007+08:00

with the week zipping past by me; so busy with work i had hardly the time to sit at my desk. i deliberately took a break last night. i went to kino and got myself a book (ok, 2 books - i couldnt help myself).

poignant and profound, i'm delightfully lost in the world of melodious rhymes. just sharing with you my favourite lines thus far (i am only at page....70?).

The home we seek is in eternity;

The Truth we seek is like a shoreless sea,

Of which your paradise is but a drop.

This ocean can be yours;why should you stop

Beguiled by dreams of evanescent dew?

The secrets of the sun are yours, but you

Content yourself with motes trapped in its beams.

Turn to what truly lives, reject what seems -

Which matters more, the body or the soul?

Be whole: desire and journey to the Whole.

- The Conference of the Birds -

now, if only i have the time to sit at coffee bean with a friend and do a recital of the book...madame blossom? anyone?

.:starbucked and salam :.

2008-03-18T22:36:00.006+08:00

i've come to realise that more people read my blog than i give myself credit for.

anyways,

an encounter on the train home...

him: thats an interesting book you are reading.

me: yes. it is. do you know that starbucks doesnt franchise and opens a new outlet every other day (i think)?

him: the coffee is too strong for me. and i dont think they will break into the south african market.

me: you'll never know. maybe you will find one once you reach home.

and all the way from city hall to simei, we went to talk about him and me, our religion, the society, our lives. him happens to be from south africa and what brought him to singapore is his faith - he apparently became a pastor five years ago after a career in mechanical (or was it computer?) engineering.

i was blessed with an interesting conversation with a stranger. i almost didnt because i had thought of moving to another seat, or risk standing all the way - he was after all, a big burly middle aged man who almost squashed me (our train seats, well, are meant to be seated by asian-sized, pardon my language, bottoms). and i would have missed a chance of spreading the salam.

and, i am suddenly craving for a white chocolate dream...

our parents

2008-02-28T13:38:00.001+08:00

This week, two of my friends’ mum passed away within a span of three days. One, I had the chance to visit and witness the enshrouding of kain kapan.

I was reminded of my parents whom have given me and my siblings (and now, their grandchildren) so much – bersengkang mata and berikat perut to bring us up, even to pawn some of my mum’s jewellery when they couldn’t make ends meet -and the immense love, joy and stability they’ve institutionalised in the family (they don’t believe in corporal punishment so, creative methods of tying the brothers at different pillars of the kampong house was engaged instead)

They are in their sixties now. My dad is no longer as stoic as I remembered him to be when I was growing up. My mum, with her osteoarthritis cannot move about easily. Both are frail. But both still cannot help but be self-sacrificial. Just mention that you want to eat your favourite food and it’d be whipped up almost instantly, despite their aching legs and tired limbs.

Yet. In the busy – ness of my life at work and the irony of being active on various dakwah platforms, I often forget. I often forget that they too need our love and attention.

I need to

Spend more time at home.
Try to fulfil their needs and wants. (if not now, when else)
To always keep them in my prayers.
And to continue to do good.

It is not only our salvation we are after, but theirs as well. We all want to go to heaven together, don’t we?

May Allah have mercy on me and my loved ones in life and in death, in this world and the hereafter.

* * * * *

Rabbighfirli wali walidayya warhamhuma kamaa rabbayani saghirah...

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan kami kami, Ampun kanlah dosa kami
Ampunkanlah dosa kedua orang tua kami
Peliharalah mereka, (sayangilah mereka, rahmatilah mereka, jagalah mereka)
sepertimana mereka telah memelihara kami (menyayangi kami, mengasihani
kami) sewaktu kami kecil

The Muslim Youth Pledge

2008-02-25T17:08:00.002+08:00

I thought that this pledge deserves an entry on its own.... =)

The Muslim Youth Pledge

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

We bear witness that there is no god but Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger.We acknowledge that the purpose of our lives is none but to worship Allah and our intended role on this earth is as His Khalifah.Thus, we, the Muslim Youth of Today, do hereby pledge that we will strive to do all we can to uphold this responsibility and make this world a better place for all creations.We believe there is hope for the future and we seek Allah’s guidance in realising that hope!

pledge penned down by dew embun, and endorsed, argued about, commented by fellow brothers and sisters =)

EXERCISE!

2008-02-21T15:32:00.003+08:00

I need to exercise!!! Feeling lethargic and having backaches from a lack of it. Heavy. So heavy.

Doesnt help that i used to feel light (and thus how i know how it feels like) because my fitness regime back in JC was:

a. at least a 2.4 km run EVERYDAY

b. 100 sit ups EVERYDAY

c. 20 push ups SOMETIMES (i HATE push ups)

of course, then, i had softball and hockey training back to back, EVERYDAY. (warning: those taking your a levels, do not, i repeat, do not attempt at playing everyday and NOT studying much)

can u imagine???? everyday!

yeah, those times when i could eat and eat and eat and not put on any weight. and then, there's the correlation between metabolism rate and age (i am getting older - some are rolling their eyes, i know).

come on, people! Lets exercise!!! Lagipun, a strong mukmin is better than a weak one, right?

too ambitious, we shant be. lets start with the stairs. and the aerobics/ kick boxing. and the briskwalking. and ....

awe and inspiration....

2008-02-21T12:28:00.004+08:00

Recovering from post-camp exhaustion, attributed to sleepless nights and a mad rush…But fired nonetheless…

Building Resilient Muslim Youth Camp 16 – 18 feb 08.

“Goose bumps…are the bumps on a person's skin at the base of body hairs which involuntarily develop when a person is cold or experiences STRONG EMOTIONS such as fear or AWE, or captures the essence of a unique experience.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piloerection

Happened to me quite a bit during the camp. I believe I was in AWE.

I was in AWE of my younger brothers and sisters’ energy, enthusiasm and earnestness in seeking knowledge; their spirit to know more about Islam, and about themselves.

I was in AWE of the facilitators’ dedication and zeal to guide their younger brothers and sisters thru. ¾ of the facilitators turned up for a pre-camp overnight session at masjid ahmad, despite being called for at the last minute. And they kept their eyes open and minds engaged as we thrashed out the topics (and thrash we did) late into the night.

I was in AWE of how He had weaved in the hearts of strangers, love for each other, in our journey to seek His Blessings, His Mardhatillah.

I was in AWE at how He has kept us together, despite our obvious differences (kadang-kadang sampai gaduh–gaduh). May He not take away the nikmat of being those whom were given the opportunity to carry out His Word.

I was in AWE of His Miracles, His Help. I had my doubts. Many a time, I thought the camp won’t be successful judging from our lack in preparation. But He has always proven me wrong – teaching me again and again that…

Success is not borne out of our efforts. But PURELY out of His Will.

To my darling group members
Farah, Wani, Aisyah, Nadiah, Arini, Syafiqah, Fazliah… I have learnt much from you. More than you ever know. Thank you for opening a moment of your lives to me.

My younger brothers and sisters reminded me of the youth’ idealism at striving for perfection. An idealism that has been more often now, been clouded with realism of the working world. You have no idea how much I draw my strength from all of you.

To my dearest facis
You were God-sent. My angels. May your limbs be witnesses of the good you have done in His Cause in the hereafter. May Allah reward you generously. One asked for inspiring words from me (i almost forgot i said them - it was months before and i didnt think it was much of an inspiration) when in fact all of you were my inspiration.

And for all that, Thank you.

oh, and thank you for showing project zip! video - i almost forgot my experience - gives me a sense of nostalgia and hope.

May Allah gives me the strength, patience and istiqamah to continue doing His Work.

For Pictures and Videos...please visit

http://www.1fmsa.blogspot.com/

zoned out

2008-02-11T17:50:00.000+08:00

do u get those moments when you just "zone out" to dunno-where-in-space? those moments when your body does something but your mind is not tuned?

today, i typed,"call" instead of "cold." "go home" instead of "to meet".

and a whole load of "wrongs" when typing emails, keying in sms-es. i had to re-read everything i typed and keyed in. thank God i am on course and not typing some policy paper which would need every inch of my functioning brain.

i think i am not myself today. i am not well.

go home and rest, i shall.

a broken train, a father's love

2008-01-21T10:54:00.000+08:00

and so, i was early to go to work...wouldve reached work at ard 845...

sekali the mrt broke down...so no trains...the gates were shut down at simei mrt station and there was a sign ...

MRT breakdown at Tampines

Expected time to resume BLANK

i took a pic. (not available yet)

there were shuttle buses to tanah merah but the queue was amazing...i even thought of taking half day urgent leave...but not possible because i have an afternoon FULL of meetings...

i went to get breakfast, went to get coffee frm ntuc...and walked, thinking of an exit plan...

and remembered my dad...so i called home to ask whether he is able to send me to tanah merah...

while on the bike, i jokingly asked, can send to ghim moh? he said yes. i was like are u sure??!!!! he said, yeah...today dont need to take care of mardhiah (my adorable yet mischevious niece) coz my sis not working...maybe he welcomed the change from the usual routine. maybe because he saw the jam around the tanah merah area (imagine people frm pasir ris, tampines and simei converging at tanah merah...

then, he dropped me off...i was so touched...i kissed his hand, he kissed my forehead...

i am thankful for a father like him...may he be taken care of by God always...

jesus loves u

2007-12-07T11:32:00.000+08:00

This morning, I was on the way to work, resting my eyes and taking a breather before the busy – ness and chaos of the day starts, when…

“excuse me, miss…jesus is the son of god. jesus loves you.” A woman, smiled and handed me her card and some stuff I have yet to open and read. Her card read “evangelist.”

I was thinking…what should i say? Should I tell her off? In the end, I let it go (i admit, may not be the best reaction) coz I didn’t want to be confrontational early in the morning and thought too much of the different scenarios that could happen. By that time, she alighted already la.

But, in case any of us experience this in future, below could be some suggestions:

If you have 1 minute…

“You know, I actually believe in Jesus too. I believe he is a prophet of God. And God loves you.”

If you have 3 minutes …

“You know, I actually believe in Jesus too. But I believe he is a prophet of God and NOT His son. How can God have a son when He is God??? Isn’t He after all the Almighty God who created us and wouldn’t resemble any of His creations in any way??”

If you have more than 3 minutes (and the English translation of the quran at hand) …

“You know, I actually believe in jesus too. But I believe he is a prophet of God and NOT His son. How can God have a son when He is God??? Isn’t He after all the Almighty God who created us and wouldn’t resemble any of His creations in any way?? Why don’t you read these verses from a chapter named Maryam, or better know to you as Mary?”

other suggestions, anyone???

by the way, i realised that the book i was reading, "the story of god" was on my lap. maybe she thought that i am a restless soul searching for God. anyway, i just went for a public lecture by the archbishop of canterbury on religious diversity and social unity last night - how interesting.

.: Qurban, anyone??? :.

2007-11-23T14:14:00.000+08:00

Good place to qurban...

The daging also goes to an area where christianisation is going on...Good to help...Went there 2 years ago - beautiful place, in case anyone interested to go la...

.: work sweet work :.

2007-11-22T12:05:00.000+08:00

i was looking around my workspace the other day and realised that it is quite pretty, made up of many pretty things.

its slightly changed now - more organised, as i become a tad more OCD-ish (Obsessive Complulsive Disorder) after a recent course on Effective Project Management Skills. neater, prettier, with more additions...i should take a picture of the whole work space from varying angles...

work sweet work...

.: thursday FALL :.

2007-11-22T09:31:00.000+08:00

i was walking to work, thinking about life, singing praises to God, thinking about men's cruelty - which i wanted to blog about after bawling my eyes with tears watching "innocent voices" late last night.

feeling fortunate that i am alive. i was contented.

then i suddenly tripped over the steps which i have been climbing on my way to work for almost 2 years now, and at the same second, dropped my icy mocha soya which happens to be my current craze.

innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun. i told myself, its ok. we all fall.

i dont know why i fell but there must be a good reason to it. maybe it is a sign from God, telling me i will one day die. How ironic since i was reading about death on my way to work.

maybe, i fell so that i can pick myself up again.

the morning, despite the fall has not turned out bad at all. i managed to save 3/4 of my icy mocha soya.

.: over chocolate fondue :.

2007-11-20T10:06:00.000+08:00

i havent been thinking much; its worrying - i try to console myself with reading "intelligent" books on the way to and fro work. just preoccupied with daily nothings and great logistical decisions. but i thought, since my boss is on leave and i have been a tad too efficient these past few days, i'd start the discipline to WRITE on my blog (how ironic).

it was interesting that we met yesterday - the 3 of us, social work grads, lamenting on the politics of the trade, working life and reminiscing about the times we spent in school - one of them complained that i was too fast in walking - since she is short, one stride of mine is equal to a few of hers. And she wears HEELS, for goodness sake! amazed at how we had continued to be friends, against all odds. she was the control freak and i was the total opposite.

then, we realised working life has changed us. she has learnt to become more last minute while i learnt to be less last minute. another friend said she had changed for the worse - no longer a good listener (after listening daily to people's problems, what would you expect?). we arent as idealistic, arent as lofty. more real. more mean.

the hazard of the job.

but we are still enjoying it.

may i go on to a job that i am passionate about. more passionate than i am now. aameen

ps: bloss, we need to go orchard and take pictures - its so pretty! and no, i am not a promoter of consumerism.

oh yes, in case you are wondering why the title - we had chocolate fondue at swensens!

:: SYAHIDnya seorang teman seperjuangan::

2007-10-27T10:24:00.000+08:00

“kalau tak sempat jumpa kat dunia, kita jumpa kat jannah eh?”

Silent pause. Then, a concerted, “aameen, insya allah.”

Such were the frequent endings to our long distance conversations, for sometimes being miles apart, it felt almost impossible that we would meet again. Little did we know that it would be for real – much too soon...for most.

11 years ago, we met in a camp that was life changing (ok, not exactly but eye opening enough). More apt to say that it was a camp that would, in God’s own mysterious ways change our life courses. We had our pre-‘converted’ days, our weaknesses. We floated in and out. We travelled together, literally and figuratively speaking, thru life phases. There was a tie that bound us – the tie of ukhuwwah, a beautiful friendship. We’ve had our fall outs, often due to differences in opinions but always, just like our last conversation during ramadhan, “mintak maaf k. sekarang kita 0-0.”

He has touched the lives of many and would continually do so – prolonging his amal daripada ilmu yang dimanfaatkan.

I pray that I will always remember him; his raspy voice, his smile and laughter and the knowledge he has imparted.

I pray that I will remember his constant longing for SYAHID…

“I rasa I tak tahan nanti kena hisab ah, mar…No other way but SYAHID.”

I pray that I will remember his determination against all odds, everything-also-can attitude, and often to my disgruntled disbelief, “fiq, u biar benar?”

From budak hingusan at ITE to Guntor, from Guntor to Syria (with only as much as to cover his one way flight ticket), from Syria to short stint in London, purely to seek His ‘Ilm…I was impressed.

" Mar, yang u risau kenapa? Kumpul jek duit untuk flight. Then, tawakkal ilallah. Betulkan niat and just GO…”

And off he went. I should’ve followed for thenafter he would constantly make me jealous by rattling on and on about how happy he was in Syria and how I was missing out on life in seeking pure knowledge – not to mention my horrendous Arabic which he would NEVER laugh at (he would just snigger la) for he remembered how difficult it was to learn arabic from zero.

* * * * *

And at times, he would wonder who would turn up at his funeral…

“Yelah, siapa nak tengok I, bacakan I Yaa- Sin…Siapalah I ni…nak cakap lawa, tak lawa, setakat harapkan manis je.” (Yes, he was hilariously funny and able to brighten one’s bad day)

If he had known the throngs of people who turned up at an nur mosque to solat jenazah (the prayer hall was full), people from his past and present who do’akan, who witnessed his burial; he wouldn’t have had to worry.

A few months back, while asking him about his marriage, which he was so looking forward to …

“mar, I tak tau ah but I rasa macam tak sampai.”

After which, I retorted and went on a whole rhetoric about how suicide bombing is haram and how it is not jihad and etc. I was afraid he was influenced by weird ideologies. He assured me he was still sane and firmly grounded.

Little did we know. Little did I know.

Little did I know, that I would be reciting the Yaasin by his ears in his last hours – reminding him of Allah’s promise to the Believers

Little did I know that I would be reciting the do’a from the book he lent to me for safekeeping while he studies in Syria:

Narrated ‘Auf bin Malik, Allah’s Messenger prayed on a dead body and I memorized from his supplication,

“O Allah, forgive him, show him mercy, grant him security, pardon him, grant him a noble provision and a spacious lodging, wash him with water, snow, and ice and hail, purify him from sins as the white garment is purified from filth, give him a better abode in place of his present one, a better family in place of his present one, and a better spouse in place of his present one, put him in Paradise and save him from the trial in the grave and the punishment of Hell.” – reported by Muslim, from The Book of Funerals, Bulughul Maram-

May my brother be placed amongst the syuhada’ and anbiya’ whom he was so looking forward to meet.

And yes, insya allah, we will meet in Jannah, just like in our constant do’a.

* * * * *

Below are just some pictures highlighting the short but full life he led...

playing football in damsyiq!

rafiq in syria - one of the reasons he enjoyed syria was the multifaceted muslim community - highlighting the truely global Islam. the child according to him was of euro descent.

Rafiq in London! his first snow experience kot...

.: azma's wedding pics :.

2007-10-01T10:20:00.000+08:00

azma's wedding pics - of course there's a LOT MORE (i had the opportunity to take loads of pics coz i was the bridesmaid la)...but that would take ages to upload anywhere and i dun have the luxury of time or patience nowadays...(ps: yati, i nanti burnkan the rest in a cd for u?)

this is way overdue but congrats (again!) to the both 'azma & fir...may ur marriage be constantly blessed by allah s.w.t, insya allah (hari baik, bulan baik ni, mesti do'a banyak banyak)...

other than that, tonight marks the 20th day of ramadhan - may these remaining days brings us closer to allah, may He accept our deeds and forgive all our sins and may we be given the nikmat of life to meet the next ramadhan...

the last one is my personal favourite... =) so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet...

self esteem

2007-09-18T11:00:00.000+08:00

i sometimes get my self esteem from my nephews and niece.

me: hamim, is mak busu pretty or not?

hamim: of course la!

me: is mak busu fat?

hamim: of course... *thinks again* NOT!

good answer. thank u hamim.

eNergy

2007-09-18T10:50:00.000+08:00

colleague: marlina, i want to ask u something. i am very curious u know. how come u look more energetic during fasting month?

me: I do?

colleague: yeah, how come not having food has reverse effect on u?

kwang kwang kwang.

.: Trapped! :.

2007-08-28T15:29:00.000+08:00

Twice in a month, I’ve had bad experience with lifts.

No, I am not talking about lifts that take ages to reach the floor or the lift that doesn’t take more than 5 people without screaming a flat “tet…tet”, signalling people to rush out (like the one at home)…

I am talking about lifts that went berserk, or those that suddenly stop dead in their tracks (a figure of speech – they were never alive in the first place)

Incident 1 – 120807. sunday
Location: marine parade
Occasion: Friend’s wedding Reception (which I am supposed to blog abt – still in draft)
In the lift: The Bride & Groom, The bridesmaids (me and yati), The Groom’s mother, The Mak Andam a.k.a make up artist, The Photographer.

The lift went up & came down in a single, jerky motion. The numbers on the screen went up all the way to the 15th floor. We were still on the second floor.

With hearts in the mouth, we were grateful the lift door opened, and we were safe. Took the other lift.

Truth: It all happened so fast, I didn’t really realise what was happening. The near-death experience bonded us further.

Incident 2 – 260807. sunday
Location: changi road
Occasion: going for a meeting
In the lift: Me & 3 other brothers

Went into the lift, happily pressed “2”. Suddenly the lift stopped, no ventilation, everything went still. We pressed the bell for help. 1 of the brothers started singing & was told to keep quiet by another coz he was using up the already-limited oxygen faster. I would’ve laughed if not for the fact I was trapped in the lift. Worse, the lift was shielded. NO RECEPTION. None of us could call out. We pressed the bell for help. No one came to rescue.

Confession: I almost cried coz I was becoming claustrophobic & it was getting warm. Looking at the floor space, I thought it’d be crammed for all of us to sit down. Then, the frightening thought that we could be stuck in the small space for hours without much air, food and water, crossed my mind. I thought about having to solat maghrib in the lift, about having to do tayammum. Worse, if u need to go toilet urgently. Rest assured, they were NOT happy thoughts.

Truth: We were stuck for I think, a total of 5 –10 mins (or less). the same person who sang came up with a smart idea to force the door open. It was surprisingly easy. Almost kicked myself for not reading the sign that there was some maintenance power outage thingy (I was laughing looking at how some words were spelt wrongly instead)

The SHORT wait was LONG enough. It was the uncertainty of the wait that got to me.

Ni belum tunggu kena hisab at padang masyhar. May Allah protect us from that, insya allah.

work - home

2007-08-17T14:08:00.000+08:00

is it normal?

to think of going home while on the way to work?

moral support

2007-08-16T13:07:00.000+08:00

ok, if you have a whole year to pay back the days that you've missed your puasa/saum/fast, when do you do it?

the month just before fasting month! apparently, i have been procrastinating (i need to deal with this) till i cant procrastinate longer...teruk kan.

but thats not the point of this entry...in view of my fasting, my chinese-malaysian colleague has been extra concerned. this morning...

YP: marlina, are u ok or not? u've been fasting right.
Me: Yah, I am good lah
YP: U feeling cold? (coz i was wearing my jacket la)
Me: yeah, a bit. maybe because i am fasting (its actually raining heavily)
YP: I think i will fast la, for one day with you - to give u moral support.

kwang kwang kwang. yes, my colleagues are concerned that i am not eating.

Panda eYEs & praYer Place

2007-08-13T13:28:00.000+08:00

It has been an eventFUL (will update soon) pre-weekend and weekend, with late nights and assignments (both school & work).

When I went to teach at 8am on Sunday, my primary 2 student:

She : teacher marlina, what’s wrong with your eyes?
Me : huh? Why?
She : they look different.
Me : Oh

Dalam hatiku, must be the panda eyes. I am scaring off my students.

* * * * *

Tonight, my previous department colleagues are having dinner (like the good ol’ days) in celebration of our boss’ promotion.

Once we decided on dinner (at 7pm),

Colleague S: marlina, you need to pray right? Aiyah, where you want to pray?

Me: the place is near the mosque

Uncle J (another colleague): anywhere also can pray, right?

Me: yeah, see, uncle J clever.

Thus, from wherever thou mayest come forth, turn thy face [in prayer] towards the Inviolable House of Worship-for. Behold, this [commandment] comes in truth from thy Sustainer; and God is not unaware of what you do. 2:149

ps: tried to look for a verse in the quran; something about the earth as a place for prayer (or is it a hadith?). Anybody who knows, please help. Thanks.

when the cats are off, the mice comes out to play...

2007-08-06T15:51:00.000+08:00

it is post-sunday. management is on 2 days retreat. and what do people do when their bosses are away?

At 3.51pm, I was way beyond sleepy. most of my colleagues were.

i tried 2 cups of coffee. we tried to take a fruit eating break with whoever is left on the floor i.e. less than 10 people.

then, i remembered.

its been a looong time since Ive blogged - somebody commented, "blog pun dah berhabuk".

so, decided that i shall just do something different from the usual routine of "perah otak" to put forth some papers to some atas people, and trying to comprehend stacks of otherwise meaningless papers (yes, we are killing trees) and make meaning out of mere numbers (read: statistics)

anyways, in relation to mai sb's latest entry http://anewlifeahead.blogspot.com/ (u so sweet - so touching), i realised i do have a picture of 4 of us, MINUS HER

somehow, we cant get everyone at the same time, at the same place. shall we resort to superimposing our photos?

i wanna canoe/climb/cycle. i wanna walk. i wanna break free.

.: reminder :.

2007-06-15T15:05:00.000+08:00

I have been sharing with my close colleagues about Islam; halal food, solat, fasting month, hari raya, modest dressing, stand on certain issues…and etc

And so, I’ve realised that maybe I have been too effective in my sharing.

You see, I was wearing blouse and pants yesterday. And my non-muslim colleague went, “ marlina, I think this baju a bit wrong – show off your figure”

That disturbed me. What led her to say what she said? I thought about it yesterday. I thought about it today.

1. I don’t think the blouse is super sexy
2. Maybe it is because I always wear something loose/long to work.
3. I don’t have much of a figure (but that’s besides the point)

I asked her again today just to clarify & be doubly sure (amounting to a decision as to whether I need to give that currently-one-of-my-favourite-blouses of mine away)

Me: Yesterday, my baju really a bit wrong ah?

She: I think it was the tudung. Not like today.

Me: But yesterday’s tudung and today’s tudung is the same size mah!

She: hhhmmmmm. I think yesterday you pinned it wrongly. That’s why never cover properly.

Me: ok.

I smiled. I don’t have to give away the blouse. And yes, even a non-muslim can be a wonderful reminder.

METTA

2007-05-21T12:25:00.000+08:00

In one of those usual playful banters in the car with 4 children & 3 adults

Hazim: Hakim, stop it ah! You very naughty, I send you to metta school then you know!

Hakim: bleargh!

Me: Metta School? Only for special children (read: e.g. low IQ, with learning disability etc), right? Hazim, don’t be mean ok?

Hazim: Hakim should go there!

Hakim: bleargh!

My bro: yeah, don’t make fun of children like that k. They’d probably get to go to heaven first – don’t need to count deeds you know.

Hazim & Hakim: I want to go to Metta school

Me: I don’t think getting to heaven got anything to do with the school you attend. You are normal mah.

Kwang kwang kwang

Mortality

2007-05-20T05:42:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to blog about KL. But decided not yet, not after reading in the news. An acquaintance passed away in an accident on a mountain yesterday. A mountain I climbed TWICE.

I can’t seem to get over it, ever since a friend sms-ed me yesterday about the news. No, not because I am close to this acquaintance of mine. He was after all, just someone I knew while I travelled along my educational path. But the fact that I KNOW him, makes it so much closer to home.

Past week’s reports about the death of the 2 NSmen in Taiwan, hit by a plane while in a STORE & the woman who was hit by a falling tree, struck a chord in me. Unfortunate incidences, you may say. But I believe they are but ENGINEERED. Engineered by none other but the Almighty.

We all know we are going to die. But we seem to keep forgetting.

Mortality strikes.

It is God [alone that has this power - He] who causes all human beings to die at the time of their [bodily] death, and [causes to be as dead], during their sleep, those that have not yet died: thus, He withholds [from life] those upon whom He has decreed death, and lets the others go free for a term set [by Him]. In [all] this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think!39:42

May the families of those affected be given the strength to pull thru this difficult time, insya allah.

pic: summit at ledang

What's in a NAME?!

2007-04-22T17:00:00.000+08:00

was browsing thru some blogs and found a birthday calculator. there's also a section on what your name means. dont know how my name points to a number or whats the whole mechanism behind it. interesting though.

* * * * *

What Your Name Means

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You entered: Marlina
There are 7 letters in your name.
Those 7 letters total to 32
There are 3 vowels and 4 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:German Female Variant of Madeline 'Woman from Magdala.
English Female Variant of Marlene, derived from Madeline: Woman from Magdala.

Your number is: 5

The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.

The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.

If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.

Your Soul Urge number is: 11

A Soul Urge number of 11 means:
With the 11 Soul Urge, much of your thinking and interests relate to the abstract, the spiritual, and utopian dreams. You are motivated toward idealistic concepts, and the sharing of your ideas and concepts with humanity. This number is not one that is giving in a material or a practical sense, but rather one who desires to help mankind with a more abstract commodity such as religion, spiritualism, occult studies, or even psychic abilities.

If you possess the positive 11 Soul Urge traits, you have a dream of the perfect world; you are highly idealistic and inspirational. Your inner strength and devotion to your beliefs are extremely strong. You have a very good mind that is especially well equipped to handle the higher, more abstract forms of thought.

If there is an excess of 11 energy in your makeup, you may possess some the negative 11 traits. There is a tendency for the 11 to produce considerable amounts of nervous tension which is bought on by a very high level of awareness. You may be too sensitive and overly emotional. In some cases, these sensitivities and emotions are quite repressed, and this tends to add even more to the sense of nervousness in the makeup.

The strong 11 is not a very practical person because of the extreme idealism; often, there is a degree of self-deception present. There is usually a rather fixed idea of right and wrong held by those showing strong 11 traits, and with this very often is a resulting attitude of inflexibility.

Your Inner Dream number is: 3

An Inner Dream number of 3 means:
You dream of artistic expression; writing, painting, music. You would seek to more freely express your inner feeling and obtain more enjoyment from life. You also dream of being more popular, likable, and appreciated.

http://www.paulsadowski.org/Numbers.asp

* * * * *

riding on the same note, when others ask me the meaning of my name, i say, " well, the LIN is supposed to mean gentle and soft. But i guess, the Mar & the Na seems to negate that trait la"

my mum: asyik pegi camp aje, panjat gunung la, tak tau duduk diam ke.

(brief trans:cannot keep still ah?)

me (smiles cheekily): "siapa suruh ibu taruk mar & na? taruk Lin aje dah cukup."

ok, so at least my family tries to instil some "gentleness" by calling me "Lin" at home.

So, whats in a name?

.: KL :.

2007-04-06T12:33:00.000+08:00

Have I ever told you (sometimes I wonder about this "you") that I’ve never really been to KL, except when I was super young, so young that I cant remember anything??? No, not some exotic beach on the caribbean (which would take eons for me to reach). The KL as in KL, which is a 4-6 hr drive from Singapore.

Dont get me wrong (dont think i am a "frog under the husk" trans. from a malay idiom; katak bawah tempurung) - I’ve been to the outskirts - Taman Negara to trek, Bangi (more than once) for some training programme and etc. BUT I’ve never REALLY been to KL as in KL.

I finally went to Bandar Tun Abdul Razak (I think so) recently (ok, not so recent. some time in feb this year), for some 2 days meeting/training programme with some sisters and brothers.

I think I spent a GRAND total of an hour (lebih kurang) in pudu raya (petaling street pun tak sempat) while waiting for the bus home. Ok, I am definitely looking forward to my next KL trip (this time with no business/meeting agenda). This time, in KL as in KL itself.

So, here’s the closest I’ve been to KL & the twin towers (with the aid of 12x zoom camera – kesian kan?????)

During time out from meeting, we went to the tasik/lake nearby, ada pulak rainbow. masya allah. It was pretty indeed. Subhanallah.

ok, i am rather proud of this. it was my first time (sort of) in KL and i took the LRT ALONE!!! ALL ALONE to pudu raya. (of course, there were other commuters)

sunlight on KL. view from the train. It was a pretty sight.

side track sikit: And so, i was with my bagpack, alone, taking pictures. There was an african guy with his friends.

Him: Taking pictures for a school project?

Me: (u mean, i look that young??) No. I am actually from Singapore. Blah blah blah.

he was there to study. singapore, he said, was too expensive.

kwang kwang kwang.

.: desktop tagged :.

2007-04-06T11:49:00.000+08:00

Blossom tagged. still dont understand the concept. ok, maybe like playing touch rugby. But anyway, here's the long - overdued desktop image.

Resolution: 1280 x 800

Picture taken: on one fine evening, on the way to arabic class, from blossom's car, at a red traffic light just outside wisma indah, masjid kassim.

More about picture: Love the sunset 'lighting' and the juxtapositioning of the crane (that's what its called kan?) and mortally- arranged streetlamps against the naturally-pretty sunset light and frame of trees. I think I might be reading too much into the picture.

Laptop/LCD or CRT: My laptop named Dellia (pronounced is d -li -a) a.k.a Dellila (pronounced as d-lie-la). even laptops have identity crises.

Wallpaper since : quite some time ago. cant remember exactly when.

Something interesting: waktu tgh print screen tu, hujan gerimis happened to be playing and ter-captured sekali in the printed screen. heh. okla, reminds me; i love rain.

.: Perfect ImPERFECTIONS :.

2007-04-06T11:15:00.000+08:00

I couldn’t stop staring at a rather beautiful and attractive lady with an equally gorgeous boyfriend/fiancé/husband while on the way home from work. It has been a few weeks or is it months but visuals of her continue to linger in my mind. Anyway, I thought that the lady would’ve been more attractive with fuller lips, a broader smile. And I thought, she might have thought the same every other time she examines herself in the mirror.

We always want something more – to have bigger eyes, a smaller waist, a slimmer figure, to be taller/shorter. We always harp on our imperfections.

Truth is, we are created as the best creations – having the ability to discern, to have integrity, to rise above circumstances, to rise above others.

Lord, let us be humbled by our imperfections (not blinded by them) in our strive to attain perfection.

Verily, We create man in the best conformation

and thereafter We reduce him to the lowest of low

excepting only such as attain to faith and do good works: and theirs shall be a reward unending!

~The Noble Quran, Surah Tin 95:2-4 ~

Picture taken at the side of a canal/longkang. thought that the pretty flowers amongst the mess, dirt n chaos in the background was poignant.

.: ALLERGY :.

2007-04-06T10:56:00.000+08:00

Another episode with my seven years old nephew

Me: Hakim, can you please close the door?
Hakim: Nooooo…
Me: Why can’t you just close the door?
Hakim: (puts on a cute face) Because I am ALLERGIC to doors.

2007-04-02T09:27:00.000+08:00

.: Post – Sunday :.

Last Monday, I had a headache.

It’s Monday morning, again. And I am having a headache, again.

Sharon, my dearest colleague thinks that my headaches had something to do with “Mondays” and so, she came up with a brilliant idea - to call the day, “post-Sunday”.

So smart

Have a good “post-Sunday” everyone. Oh, have a good week ahead – a better week than the last!

2007-03-20T00:24:00.000+08:00

.: a Father's love :.

Aa'ishah (the Prophet's wife) r.a. reported: "Whenever Fatimah (the Prophet's daughter) came into the room, the Prophet s.a.w would stand up, welcome her, kiss her and offer her his seat, and whenever he came into the room, she would stand up, take his hand , welcome him, kiss him and offer him her seat. When she came to see him during his final illness, he welcomed her & kissed her." - Fath al- Baari, 8/135, Kitaab Al Maghazi, baab maraduhu wa wafatuhu; Abu Dawood, 4/480, Kitaab al-Adab, baab ma jaa' fil-qiyaam -

I just read the above in a book lah. Cant help but to exclaim, " so sweeeeet!!! touching nye..... " (note: the exclamation was silent as i was in the train and didnt really want people to think that i am a nutcase)

ok, so i am blessed. still get the occasional pats and kisses from my dad. and the occasional dances, which will land my mum and sis into a laughing frenzy. alhamdulillah.

:: need to count blessings, again::

2007-03-17T12:53:00.000+08:00

.: here :.

I am here!

i hear korang punya batuk-batuk lah. ampun maaf for not updating my blog & causing great "distress" - i didnt think people actually read my blog la

ive actually started typing out my thoughts that are bugging me incessantly into a word document, which is stuck in my thumbdrive, which is stuck in the usb port in my office computer. my boss decided that we have a life and shoo-ed us off at 8pm last night, so i had to pack up in a hurry.

just to start off the blogging streak, again:

an email reply to a friend who was wondering whether i was still alive (i sometimes go to twilight zone)

indeed i am here

in seeming eternity

a borrowed moment.

itu aje yang saya nak bilang makcik dan pakcik.

2007-02-05T13:08:00.000+08:00

.: Blissful Monday :.

i am happy/contented because yesterday:

1. i cleaned my room - more like my table. major achievement.
2. i bought books. and realised i couldve gotten them at half price if my bro bought them at makkah. my bro said they were too heavy to carry since most are hard cover. can darussalam publishing have them in paperback, please? =)
3. i had some time out alone yesterday for about 2 hours - walked from bugis to lavender, and took some pictures along the way
4. i bought pretty coloured pens for notes, & pencils for sketching
5. i almost finished a sketch of hakim (my nephew), which i started a few years ago but never completed
6. i realised that i can still sketch. whether or not the sketch resembles the actual person is another matter. i taught myself to sketch people. school taught me to sketch lady's finger.
7. the children especially 8 month-old mardhiah, were happy with the books i got them. seeing the joy on an innocent baby's face is priceless - definitely more than the price of the book itself. mardhiah hugged the book, even while drinking milk. so cute.

This morning:
8. managed to solat subuh berjemaah with my domestic helper.
9. i didnt feel very sleepy on my way to work in the morning, and thus managed to read my book, " great women of Islam - who were given great news of paradise". inspired.
10. i have been productive at work in the morning. quite.

the above are just some of the things i should be thankful for, within a span of less than a day. ni belum termasuk the rain (yes, i love rain. berapa banyak kali nak bilang dah?!), and EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else created to help me fulfil my purpose & destiny in life. subhanallah.

i think counting blessings is a good practice, although it is a totally - humanly - impossible feat. Totally. (ala nur~)

"For, should you try to count God's blessings, you could never compute them! Behold, God is indeed much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace"

~ An-Nahl 16:18 ~

try, i shall. after all, it is not the product, but the process and outcome, that matters.

:: counting blessings ::

2007-01-21T20:09:00.000+08:00

.: temporary mother :.

26th december 2006. in the car. about 4 a.m.

hazirah: mak busu (youngest aunt), i guess you are going to be our "temporary mother" for now.

me: yeah, i guess so. for one month only.

that was part of a conversation between me and my niece and nephews, during our ride home from the airport, after sending their parents off for hajj - leaving four children in our charge (my bro lives next door so my new found role was a "by-default" one.)

so, that partially explains why i havent been blogging, on top of work, meetings, camps etc and mere "belum-tangkap-mood-ness"(at the rate i am spoiling the bahasa, my sasterawan-uncle would be gravely disappointed).

Being a temporary mother has been rather enjoyable, with its ups and down but i still cant wait for my bro and sis-in-law to come back (this coming tuesday), so that i can tell them rightaway, " you can have your children back." as much as my niece and nephews are smart, intelligent, adorable and totally lovable and huggable...ehem...well, they miss their parents. heh, more like mak busu longing for the time she doesnt have to rush off at 6pm sharp to go home and see to the children's homework and school administrative stuff (i think ive become an expert signing forms, writing letters/sms-ing to teachers and speaking to vice-principals and HODs).

i have since realised that juggling work and family is no mean feat so a new-found-higher (super higher) level of respect to all working mothers. hopefully, by the time i have children i can be a full time home maker who runs some sort of business to supplement the family's income. the business should, by the way, be something i truly enjoy and would benefit the ummah, in one way or another. (hhmmm, social enterprise?)

by the way, while the parents were away on hajj, my nephews decided to fall more than usual and get themselves stitched. hakim had seven stitches on his head a day before his parents went off (and a week before he starts primary one) while hazim just got 4 stitches on his lips last week (my mum's call sent me scurrying to KKH at 4.30pm - grateful for having an understanding boss). getting him to agree to a local anaesthesia (on his lips!!!) was a tricky matter but i quite enjoy seeing him being stitched - no, i am not a sadist, just that ive always been attracted to the medical profession. i havent took a picture of his swollen lips - maybe later tonight.

they are both fine now. alhamdulillah. quite proud of themselves really, comparing the number of stitches.

i will miss the children, and their constant presence around me (yes, i bring them to meetings sometimes since my mum cant cope with all 5 at home), their voice on the phone in the middle of the day, "mak busu, what time are you coming home?", and them running to me (either delighted to see me or to complain on the other bro who doesnt wish to share his toys etc - would miss the former more than the latter) when i come home from work all tired and exhausted.

but i think i am more than glad to take the "mother" hat off for now.

children are great responsibilities. potentials to be unleashed, guided they must be.

may they grow up to be good muslims, serving the community for the sake of allah, insya allah.

.: counting days :.

2006-12-24T10:48:00.000+08:00

.: Ledang Part II :.

Just some of the ledang pictures...out of the 300 plus shots...

2006-12-19T12:32:00.000+08:00

.: rain on ledang:.

i love rain. i sincerely do. rain can brighten up my mood instantly. i am in fact more productive at school and at work when it is raining.

then, i realised, well, not always. not when i am carrying a WET bag of capacity 60+10l, with WET heavy clothes, wearing WET socks in WET boots, trekking down ledang, from base camp at kolam ayer gajah to the resort, at NIGHT. That itself almost took 6 whole hours, by the end of which, i was totally exhausted (i walk weird now)

oh yes, to the horror of my mom (who thinks that mountains should not be climbed during the rainy season - i shouldve heeded her warning), i climbed gunung ledang on the 15-16th december (more like 17th coz we were stuck there for sometime) with 12 others. part of fmsa programme for the out of school youth/youth at risk.

learnt a lot from the trip like the fact that i am not as fit as i used to be (i promised myself that i will start my jogging/sports routine again - there was a time i can jog to bedok reservoir from my home in simei without stopping even for a mere moment). of course more importantly, got to know the youth better. well, when you've climbed 1,276 m together in gruelling weather, all defences are down and sharing opinions, feelings and thoughts (which could be quite hard for the youth in normal circumstances) was an easy feat. we talked about love, life

and ...

oh, of course there's the perk of taking pictures with my VERY OWN panasonic lumix. blossom blogged about my purchase at sim lim square(the night before i went to ledang - i brought the manual up ledang but was too exhausted to read) so you may want to read http://withinmyneurons.blogspot.com/ ...

well, i didnt have the time to fully explore the functions of the camera but got excited using the zoom (12x optical zoom) and the macro mode (makes the tiniest flowers on the ground look oh so pretty)...also VERY grateful that the camera bag was shock and water resistant. took a total of 306 pics. the scenery from the summit was blocked by the rain and fog (hujan & bidai/kabus). one of the youth, described it aptly, "kak, ni macam scene dari mimpi-mimpi." (trans. kak, this looks like a scene from dreams)

close to nature, away from the busy-ness of town,it was a good time to reflect and ponder. the greatness of Allah who has created all.

and yes, i still love rain.

below, a picture of leaves on ledang grounds. a brief reflection.

For, with Him are the keys to the things that are beyond the reach of a created being's perception: none knows them but He. And He knows all that is on land and in the sea; and not a leaf falls but He knows it; and neither is there a grain in the earth's deep darkness, nor anything: living or dead,
but is recorded in [His] clear decree.

surah al-an'am 6:59

2006-12-10T18:23:00.000+08:00

.: malay :.

me: hakim, kenapa hakim suka hari raya?

hakim: sebab hakim boleh pakai "baru kasut"!!! *smiles gleefully*

"baru kasut" - a literal translation of new shoes. Those who do know malay would immediately find fault in the phrase' structure. shouldve been "kasut baru" instead. Recently, hazim said "sekolah beg"(school bag) instead of beg sekolah. to my mum's horror, 6 year old hakim doesnt know how to count, citing the number eleven or sebelas in malay, as "satu belas" (this problem was rectified in one night - my mum had what- i- would- call the "numbers-drill" with him before he went to sleep)

it is of course not the children's fault. Growing up in a house (we live next door to each other so more like 2=1 house) where parents, aunties and uncles speak english constantly with the exception of their grandparents (we insist they speak more malay with their atuk & nenek), english-speaking friends and english-language TV programmes, it is no wonder that they would turn out the way they are.

not that we dont place importance on the malay language - yes, we get worried when their malay exams are round the corner. we, of course, do not hide our expectations that they should score As especially in their mother tongue. "jangan malukan bangsa ok. ur abah, emak, cik sainy, cik nana and mak busu(myself) used to get A*s, A1s and awards for malay tau." (now to think of it, kesian jugak budak-budak ni)

ooops, now that i mentioned it, teringat pulak, yes, i used to ace my malay, getting awards for the language year after year (some of my peers actually thought that i would become a malay teacher). oh well, until the asean scholars came while i was in secondary three and i had to concede defeat. bahasa melayu dieorang POWER! But now that i dont speak much malay, my malay has gone "karat". the last time i gave a talk in malay to an audience of 200 odd people, the makcik thought i was malaysian.

POKOKNYA (one of my fav words- translated to mean " the point being") i still do believe that malay as a language and as a culture is still important & relevant. the language is wonderful, kind and subtle, delicate even - nature as a common reference in its idioms. the culture (the good ones) which includes cooperation, communality, respect and reverence to the elders and putting others before self are some things that would do good if instilled in the young today. malay is also a language that has reference to arabic and islam.

bahasa menunjukkan bangsa dan budaya. bahasa melayu melambangkan budaya, dan budaya kita seharusnya budaya islam.

semoga adat, bahasa dan budaya tak lekang dek zaman, tak luput dek hujan. terus segar membina jati diri seorang melayu muslim.

2006-11-26T22:53:00.000+08:00

.: its been a long time :.

last update : november 7th

hhmmmm...hope the following would explain my MIA-ness:

1. exams. exams. exams.
2. (overdue) assignments
3. work. work.work. (audits round the corner)
4. D&D prepz (i am in the committee - work commitment. again)
5. all of the above + my-first-ever breakout on the face (and no, this is not what ive been waiting for all my life)

its been (and still is) a roller coaster ride.

" Do you think that you may enter paradise before Allah tests those of you who had fought (in His Cause) & also those who are as- Sabirin?" Ali Imran 3: 142

oh, found solace (sementara tadi last min hafal sebelum exam)...

"O you who believe! Seek help in patience & as-Solat. Truly Allah is with the As-Sabirin (the patient ones)" Al Baqarah 2:153

best kan? Allah tells us He is going to test us and then gave us the-how-to-get-help manual. And then, He rewards us. Subhanallah

ok, i am starting to rant. Oh FYI, i won the 2nd lucky draw prize kat D&D. OSIM I-Gallop. Anybody wants to buy it? it costs $950 but i m willing to negotiate. i was aiming for the canon iixus, 6.8 megapixel digicam, which was the 4th prize. the alternative is to sell i-gallop to get a digicam. i need e-bay.

before i stop making any sense at all. shall stop. uploading pics reminded me of all the picture-accompanied stories i was supposed to blog about. but that shall wait.

:: marlina un-plugged, signing out::

un-plugged - a term coined by my dearest friend to explain that its an un-edited piece of writing

oh, my bro just came back from spain (work trip. i am envious) enjoy the pictures...

2006-11-08T14:16:00.000+08:00

.: invitation:.

i invited my non-muslim colleagues over to my place last saturday. to avoid awkward & embarassing moments, i decided to send out an email:

dear all,
Just a few pointers for those who are visiting a malay/muslim house the first time ever (to avoid potentially embarrassing moments):

1. dress decently - anything below the knee is fine. avoid spaghetti straps/tube tops or anything else that is too revealing. short sleeves are fine.

2. do not shake hands with the opposite sex - its actually against the religion to have any physical contact with the opposite sex. a simple "hi auntie" & "hi uncle" is fine to acknowledge the elders

3. things to bring? i dont think there is any need to do so but in case you feel weird coming empty handed, past examples include food, fruits and chocolates. for malays, we dont really bring stuff when going hari raya visiting but i realised most of our non-muslim friends would. so, up to u!

4. take off your shoes when going into the house ( i think this applies to most asian homes)

other than that,
on a personal note, my dad is as crazy as i am. and my mum understands english but is not proficient in speaking in english.

2006-11-03T12:47:00.000+08:00

.: a lovely surprise :.

ring ring..ring ring..

me: hello, good morning, marlina speaking.

vincent (a colleague who was covering receptionist duties) : marlina, i left you a voicemail! u never check ah?! no service quality! eh, got somebody dump item here. DIK (donation-in-kind) ah.

me: (to sharon) you expecting DIK item ah?

*sharon shakes her head*

vincent: better come down now ah. before the big boss sees it.

me: ok. (a little angry that i had to go down when i was happily doing my work on my pc)

vincent: better bring a trolley down. big item

me: ok.

*hang up the phone*

me: sharon, you want to help or not?

sharon: no, i have an important email to send. jasline (my boss) asked to do.

me: ok (by this time i was pissed)

*go down with a trolley*

when the lift opened, i saw a bouquet of flowers and a parcel. so, i thought that the flowers are from the dept - bday surprise lah konon & that the parcel was a DIK item. to my surprise (again), the card read:

Dear Pink

Just wanna wish you a happy 24th birthday! May Allah bless you with longevity, best of health, happiness & success. thanks for being such a darling! may this birthday bring greater joy to you & family. We love you lots!

From: bloss, tedd & S.B.

*above: the roses on my desk at work*

so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. *flashes a mega-watt smile from ear to ear*

vincent: happy birthday!!!

me:(flabberghasted) thanks. anyway, no need to bring trolley what, this kind of parcel, so light i can just carry myself.

*went back to office*

my dept was crowding around me, admiring the flowers which coincidentally matched with my pink kebaya. my boss asked to open the package, wondering what is it.

upon opening it, i saw ...

J.J.D.S Limited

To: Miss Marlina Bte Mohd Isa

Message:
please kindly acknowledge this parcel

Thank you

*by the way, J.J.D.S stands for Jasline. Jones. Dawn. Sharon - my dept mates*

there in the box is something wrapped with newspaper. ta da! a document bag (the bigger one in the picture below) which TOTALLY MATCHES my last-minute-bought hari raya handbag.

*I told you it TOTALLY MATCHES. 'touching' seh that my colleagues notice what i bring around - maybe they've decided that i shld be more feminine (i usually bring my bag pack to work) *

A double surprise. Didnt expect that people would go through so much effort for my birthday. My colleagues cracked their heads trying to think of how best to give me my bday present (esp Sharon) & my friends gave such a wonderful surprise at work, which was timed (engineered coincidence?) perfectly.

so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet...

Really, it is not so much of the presents, but the loving effort that those around me have put in to make it such a memorable experience.

Nothing else to say but THANK YOU.

.: pink in bloom :: counting my blessings :.

all pictures courtesy of Samsung's SGH E530 hp camera =D

2006-10-09T13:19:00.000+08:00

.: gems & jewels :.

had iftar on saturday at fmsa, followed by taraweeh, led by bro bakri. couldnt resist asking him to give a tazkirah (short reminders) after taraweeh.

I know some of you may have already been bored by the numerous allegory/metaphors/ parallelisms (why do i feel that my former literature teacher would be flabber-ghasted that i have since mixed all these terms up? oh well =D) on ramadhan but well, just another one to share - boleh buat modal during sharing sessions lah kan.

here's an excerpt (note: definitely not word for word - closest to what i can remember):

" a brother used to remind us during his tazkirah about ramadhan. He said, Ramadhan is like a ship filled with gems & jewels. it docks itself in our shipyards for a month once a year, and we are free to take all the gems & jewels. But only for one month. The ship will sail and will return to us the next year. But we will never know whether we will be there to welcome the ship."

" today, i attended a funeral prayer for a wife of an ustaz. Today somebody else will die, and tomorrow, somebody else, and then somebody else. somebody else will die every other day. you notice i am using the word somebody else? It is human nature to think that it is not going to be us who may die. We think we are immortal, lest we are not...We pray for Allah's forgiveness and His Mercy on us, especially in this blessed month. Lets make the best of what is left of it."

within such a short tazkirah, i was reminded of ramadhan, life & death. And I definitely didnt regret to tebalkan muka (thicken the face - usually used when someone plucks up enough courage to just do something which is potentially embarrassing) and ask for that tazkirah.

2006-10-03T13:08:00.000+08:00

.: conversations on the go - cont'd :.

as we shared about differences in cultures etc. my colleague highlighted:

S: you know, there is an interesting observation i made about the malays, which i think could be unique to singapore

me: what?

S: that you can have tudung-clad makciks (my colleague has spent 15 years here & thus am capable of malay, & singlish) and walking next to them would be their teenage daughters who are scantily clad, with tattoos etc. i mean in india, you wont have that. the girl would probably be bashed up by the family.

me: really?

S: just the other day, i was at MOS (Ministry of Sound - I know coz i read the papers) & u have these malay girls drinking, smoking & dancing, and their dressed so provocatively. i mean, u can still look nice & be decently clad.

me: yeah...i guess, it depends on the upbringing (nothing much to say mah)

S: You know, in India, messing up with Muslim girls is a NO-NO. I mean, even at the varsities muslim girls are respected. And they are the most gorgeous girls. You know the afghan girls, have the most perfect features- everything! But we wont even dare mess around with them. I mean, asking her out for a cup of coffee is something you'd think twice about, lest the family comes after you.

me: dalam hati (in my heart) BESTNYA!!!!!

2006-10-02T13:55:00.000+08:00

.: soon :.

i have been blessed to have a friend, blossom, who in turn has been blessed with a car of her own (yes, she does not share it with her husband)...so kind is she to chauffeur us around should we want to go to the same place or happened to be in the same area (you get the drift)...and of course, i enjoy my time with her for do we not only share laughter, but tears and thoughts as well...obviously, i was excited that we were finally gonna meet after what seems like ages (ok, it was roughly two weeks)...anyways, an email asking her what time she would be coming to fetch me, turned into a simple poem which she thought i should share...so, here's the 2 mins or so worth of word play...

* * * * *
soon...
i will see you...

soon...
i will talk to you...

soon...
i will laugh with you...

yet

soon...
may never come...

soon...
is not guaranteed...

soon...
is not our right...

unless God wills it...
insya allah

* * * * *

yup, in my haste to meet her, i suddenly remembered that i may not live the next second if God wills it so. we all have our own appointed times. we just dont know when. death, though, is guaranteed.

2006-09-27T13:39:00.000+08:00

.: conversations on the go :.

i was in the car with a collegue, S, who was kind enough to send me home. he was an indian national up till about 15 years ago & still goes back annually. had an interesting conversation - talked about many things; Singapore, India etc etc(the journey from buona vista to simei isnt exactly short, if you know what i mean. put in the heavy traffic during peak hours & u get an hour's journey). I have decided to 'document' excerpts of the conversation in the next few blogs, insya allah. here's the first one:

conversation 1:

S: You know, while i was living at xyz road across the c _ _ _ _ _, a lot of them would come to the hawker centres on Sunday & preach.

me: really? i've never experienced this even though i stay next to c _ _ _ _ _ _

S: yeah! and they can be very agressive. I mean, if your religion is so good, you dont have to go all the way out. People will naturally be attracted to it

point taken. it is true isn't it? the truth is obvious & people would be naturally inclined to it. Islam is a beautiful religion because it strives on bringing about the best character in its believers and mankind as a whole. It is not mere philosophy nor mere rituals.

"And verily, you (o Muhammad) are on an exalted standard of character. You will see & they will see."

(Al Qalam 68:4-5)

The Prophet was an epitome of best character. He was sent as a mercy to mankind. He is the best examplar.

Maybe, if we follow him a little, wee bit, the world would be a more beautiful place.

2006-09-05T11:10:00.000+08:00

.: butter bun:.

its a wonderful morning for me, coz it was raining...and i had a wonderful breakfast. masya allah. i bought prawn sambal bun sbb mcm nak makan something pedas, even though ,my maid dah pack-kan (rosak bahasa: eng+malay) roti & home-made strawberry jam (my mum made it). sekali, the baker asked, " u want butter bun? just baked, very nice). i mula-mula 'eksyen' tak nak, sekali my friend beli & i saw it. it looks so 'damn' good (i actually think this is an oxymoron). all faculty of reasoning (e.g. its super-fattening) failed. I bought it, & i am glad i did!!!

it is hot roti (bread/bun), with melted butter cream inside and sugar powder topping on the outside. the roti is fluffy, and there is a hole in the middle, and u can see the melted butter. upon biting, the butter oozes out, and u start eating like a child, messy. It was creamy with a tinge of sweetness. masya allah, what a beautiful breakfast experience. nikmat...subhanallah

And there are on earth [many] tracts of land close by one another [and yet widely differing from one another; and [there are on it] vinyards, and fields of grain, and date-palms growing in clusters from one root or standing alone,[all] watered with the same water: and yet, some of them have We favoured above others by way of the food [which they provide for man and beast]. Verily, in all this there are messages indeed for people who use their reason!

13:7-10

we have been given so much blessings...uncountable really...maybe it is time i should TRY counting them everyday...

small, simple things like the butter bun, makes me happy =) i havent stopped smiling

2006-09-02T01:27:00.000+08:00

.: MUVO SLIM :.

i've been wanting to get a creative muvo slim. i called creative headquarters a few months ago, no longer in production. went to the comex IT fair yesterday, with the hope of getting one. to my dismay, "Sorry, we dont sell it anymore". eyes cast down, i called blossom to inform her of the disappointing news. walking aimlessly at the fair, i saw a laptop bag i really liked, couldnt decide to be practical (all black) or be spontaneous (I really liked the green & black one). Took almost half an hour and finally decided on the green (so much for just wanting to check out the mp3 players ONLY).

Blossom called in-between to say that she happened to spot a brand new MUVO SLIM (PINK!!!!) on e-bay selling for $90! Unbelievable (although its a 512 mb aje lah, instead of the 1gb i wanted)!!!

sms-ed the guy when i reached home, and he called. so, here's an account of the bargain:

Mr Muvo Slim (MMS): hi...

Me: hello..yeah, my friend called earlier. i am interested in the Muvo slim. whats the lowest price u would sell it for?

MMS: hhhmmm, actually...the price i quoted on the web is the price i want lah plus i can deliver to you, anywhere in singapore. ok, why dont u tell me how much u are willing to pay for it??

Me: $50?? *meekly, coz this is a brand new, unopened pink-coloured pink muvo slim i am talking about..now to think of it, maybe i shouldve been more adamant. oh well*

MMS: $50???!!!! * melampau lah pulak marlina ni!!!!*

Me: ok-ok, $70?? *by this time, my adrenaline was rushing*

MMS: $80??

Me: $75?

MMS: *laughs* ok lah

Me: mouth gaping...*keep your voice cool, marlina* ok, great

made arrangements to meet for the exchange today.

the muvo slim is lying next to me right now. its pretty in pink.

masya allah.

disclaimer: the account above is an excerpt of the conversation, which has been aptly summarised so that this entry wont run for pages. it may not be the exact words but indeed as close a resemblance it could get to the real conversation. it is also good to note that this is the first time i bought anything, anything at all from e-bay. what an experience.

ps: thank you, blossom =)

2006-08-27T23:52:00.000+08:00

.: DO AS YOU SAY :.

The packet of spaghetti was strewn all over the kitchen floor.

my sis: Lin! Look at your nephews...

hakim & hamim, look at me, doe-eyed, tinge of guilt across their faces. hazim was on his way out of the kitchen.

me: astaghfirullahal azim... !hazim, please help pick the spaghetti up.

hazim: i didnt do it. it was hamim.

me: still, dont you want to get extra pahala (good deeds) by helping out?

hazim: you, say only. why dont you do it yourself?

me: -

i was stumped.

" O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? Most hateful it is with Allah that you say that which you do not do."

- as saff 61:2-3 -

i got up. went to the kitchen & helped the children pick up the packetful of spaghetti on the floor.

2006-08-12T12:44:00.000+08:00

.: ainul mardhiyah :.

it has been a looooooong time. indeed, my concerns found in my very first posting, whereby i wont be able to update this blog regularly are founded.

nevertheless, the situation has forced me to think about the more significant events of the daily nothings.

one of the more significant events then, would be the birth of my second niece on the 27th June 2006. we've waited for a long time for a niece (ten years to be exact). we had a girl ten years ago, and ever since, it has been boy after boy after boy (all four of them) - not that i am complaining because the boys brings us such joy.

ainul mardhiyah...a source of blessing...

may she hold true to her name, as she grows up, insya allah...

2006-06-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

.: a trip that almost never was :.

22 June 2006
2300 hrs - too tired to pack, "tomorrow-also-can" pack attitude sets in

23 June 2006
(to help you realise how LATE I was,
pls note that i was supposed to leave home between 0630-0700hrs)

0430 hrs - wake up; it is still a tad too early

0500hrs - i should really start packing but zzzzzz...

0530 hrs - ok, can't wait, PACK NOW!

0615 hrs - 90% ready, "now, where is my passport???"

0645 hrs - still can't find passport, exasperated especially when mummy, fiza & mai are already on their way to chua chu kang to meet blossom...

0700 hrs - trying to comfort self at the prospect of not being able to go for a loooong awaited trip with my girl-friends... "maybe God is not allowing me to go to melaka...mesti ada hikmah di sebalik segala..."

* * * * *

for those who are wondering whether i actually MADE IT, I DID!!! alhamdulillah, managed to find the passport at around 0730, immediately called the gang and then, rushed over...alhamdulillah, i am also blessed with kind & patient friends who would've otherwise gone off and left me miserable in singapore...

blessed also am i to be able to be part of such a wonderful experience...the drive, layan-ing the children; hanaa & nadhrah (who is sooo cute), the girls nite out at melaka central (loooong story- we sorta got lost there,while trying to find our way to jalan hang tuah-managed to reach home at 2 a.m.), the food (loads & loads of it- good prescription for those suffering from anorexia, but of course a hazard for those who easily puts on weight, like yours truly...), the girlish chatter (it was an all girls trip- all 7 of us...yeehaa!!!) but best of all, the mornings...

with a house situated just opposite the mosque, the recitation of the quran at 0530 hrs from the mosque's PA system acts as a wake up call which almost cannot be missed (the PA system is super loud!!!)...the azan at 0545 beckons you to pray...despite being sleepy & tired, the body wakes to the call of prayer...

with freshly brushed teeth, wudhu' and telekong donned straight from home, an almost undescribable feeling enshrouds - pure peace & bliss...as you see others, family & strangers alike, walking towards the mosque, with the same purpose - the sole purpose to worship Allah, you feel that you are a part of something bigger; a larger community of believers...

meeting relatives during subuh was an added bonus - a warm welcome, a stream of smiling, familiar faces...

after subuh, instead of still being sleepy & tired (like back at home), the body is energised, taking in the crisp fresh air...a morning walk to the sawah or padi fields proves to enhance this refreshing and enriching experience...

contentment sets in as i count my blessings...for the trip that almost never was...

And if you would count the graces of Allah, never could you be able to count them. Truly! Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

- An-Nahl 16:18 -

blog entry especially dedicated to:
cik midah, or more lovingly known as mummy, for the house & hospitality
kak erni a.k.a blossom, who accomodatingly (including layan-ing all our kerenah) drove us all there & back safely
fiza & mai for being such good company
the girls, hanaa & nadhrah who made the trip all the more interesting

special thanks to
abang uda a.k.a kak erni's husband, without who's car, we wouldnt have made it to melaka
auntie noi (mummy's sister) who prepared food for us & brought us out for wonderful roti prata
mak nah, mak eton, mak mah, mak kiah, mak uda, cu nan, pak yib, kak ida...basically orang-orang kampung serkam who made the trip all the more meaningful for me

* * * * *
kg serkam, melaka, 23-25 June 06

2006-06-17T19:13:00.000+08:00

.: Contact :.

was watching the last part of the movie, 'contact', starring jodie foster, 
directed by robert zemeckiz & screenplay by micheal goldenberg 
- couldnt help but reflect on some of the profound dialogue.
immediately googled to get the transcript at simplyscripts.com

"I had an experience I can’t prove, I can’t even explain it, 
but everything that I know as a human being, everything that I am tells me that it was real.
I was part of something wonderful, something that changed me forever;
a vision of the Universe that tells us undeniably

how tiny, and insignificant, and how rare and precious we all are.
A vision that tells us we belong to something that is greater than ourselves.

That we are not, that none of us are alone"

"I wish that everyone, if even for one moment, could feel that awe, and humility, and the hope ..."

a movie that attempts to show the need to combine both science & faith.  islam , has
always thrived on this because it is not just a meaningless, unfounded faith of purely
spiritual basis but instead explains in a clear and rational fashion where we are from,
who we are and what we are supposed to be.

And indeed We created man (Adam) out of an extract of clay (water and earth).
Thereafter We made him (the offspring of Adam) as a Nutfah
(mixed drops of the male and female sexual discharge) (and lodged it)
in a safe lodging (womb of the woman).Then We made the Nutfah
into a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood),
then We made the clot into a little lump of flesh, then We made out of that little lump of
flesh bones, then We clothed the bones with flesh, and then We brought
it forth as another creation. So blessed be Allâh, the Best of creators.

After that surely you will die. Then, again, surely you will be resurrected.

- al-mu'minun 23: 12-16


we are indeed, tiny, and insignificant because we are created by THE CREATOR.
we do not exist on our own; we are helpless unless given His aid.
and only to Him we turn to for HOPE.
we belong to something greater than ourselves because 
we are created for a GREATER Purpose.


As a line in the movie goes,
" we are an interesting species; capable of sweet dreams and the most horrible nightmares."

which would we choose?

2006-06-13T23:19:00.000+08:00

.: Mus'ab :.

no, not a cute guy i met recently...actually, he is someone young...a youth like YOU & me (i am assuming that you - whoever you are, are a youth or at least youthful)...an inspirational figure, who was a companion of the prophet s.a.w...who gave up his material comforts for the TRUE CAUSE...

Mus'ab bin Umair had been brought up by his parents with great love and affection. He was very rich and was said to be the most well-dressed youth in mecca. His parents would buy a dress worth two hundred dirhams (i am thinking hugo boss or calvin klein equivalent?) for him. He embraced Islam in its early days without the knowledge of his parents. However, when they found out, they tied him up and compelled him to stay at home. He managed to escape and emigrate to abyssinia (the first hijrah) and then, to Madinah.

Even though he was brought up in luxury, he was living a life of abstinence. Once when the Prophet was sitting down when Mus'ab walked passed him. He had only one sheet of cloth to clothe his body which also bore a number of patches including one of leather. Then Prophet with tears in his eyes, mentioned abt Musab's life of luxury before Islam.

During the battle of uhud (second battle in islamic history), mus'ab was the flag bearer and even though there was a lot of confusion (during the battle of uhud, the enemies re-attacked after the archers came down from their posts where they were supposed to guard the passageway around the hill, causing heavy losses on the muslim army) he stood at his post like a rock. The enemy came and cut his hand holding the flag. He held it with the other hand and even this hand was cut. He held the flag to his bossom with his bleeding arms. Finally, the enemy pierced his body with an arrow.

At the time of his burial, he had only one sheet to cover his body. This sheet was too short for his size and when it was drawn to cover the head, the feet would be exposed and when drawn to cover the feet, the head would be exposed. The Prophet said, " Cover his head with the sheet and his feet with the Azkhar leaves."

- adapted from the book, The Stories of the Sahabah, An English Translation of Hikayat-i-Sahabah by Maulana Muhammad Zakaria

i was thinking that this is a guy who used to don on expensive clothes, and yet upon his death, he does not have even enough cloth to cover himself up. not that he became excessively poor but i think its because the companions of the prophet s.a.w knew what was REAl which was the hereafter...

guess we could still be stuck in the "MATRIX" (to be explained at another time) at times...

disclaimer: i am not propagating suddenly throwing away all your clothes & suddenly realising that you have none left.

2006-06-13T22:44:00.000+08:00

.: action & knowledge :.

knowledge without action is insanity
action without knowledge is vanity
- imam al ghazali -

something which was shared during the youth matrix camp '06 conducted from the 9-11 june, which was just a few days ago. still recovering from the lack of sleep and mental exhaustion..yes, fmsa (pronounced as fam-sa, an acronym for Fellowship of Muslim Students Association) camps are full of mental and emotional somersaults and marathons which are good for me - we need both physical and mental exercises...

anyway...

vanity, according to oxford advanced learner's dictionary, 7th ed, pg 1412, means:
1) having too high an opinion of one's looks, abilities, etc; conceit.
2) quality of being unsatisfying or futile; worthlessness."

i think the quote is thus so precise...to act without knowledge actually shows that a person is vain (referring to the first meaning) thinking that he/she is able to deliver without knowing exactly the CONTENT and in doing so, does not benefit anyone, lest him/herself. just reflecting on all those times i 'bubble-d' (slang for weaved, go around, beat about the bush) my way through something - like during a debate or speech or etc. hhhmmm...

as for knowledge without action is insanity...i think it is self explanatory (my eyes are getting heavier) since we are enjoined to do good and forbid evil.

Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting all that is good, enjoining Al-Ma'ruf and forbidding Al-Munkar. and it is they who are successful. al-Imran 3:104

2006-06-03T12:04:00.000+08:00

.: THE BATTLE :.

while i was trying to clear my yahoo inbox (they are in the thousands), i found this gem of a story in one of those forwarded emails:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that

goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves. One is Evil. It

is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt,

resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility,

kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and

faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which Wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

2006-06-02T01:31:00.000+08:00

.: REFLECTIONS :.

the rebutia entry triggered some memories; memories of my student days, which though is not too long ago (july marks a year's anniversary) is a Life-Phase away...

reflecting on the difference between the vibrance of knowledge seeking (in school setting) and the realities of working life....i've realised, eversince i started working proper 6 months ago, that one is most free when one is a full time student..i know most of the CURRENT students would beg (profusely) to differ on this but just think about it..

when else would you have the luxury to attend a two hour lecture physically and not mentally (this happens especially when there is an upcoming camp and you are part of the organising committee; worse, if you are the chairman)?? when else can you spend HOURS in the library, reading up on things that interest you while trying to find relevant books for your assignment?? when else can you engage with your fellow coursemates and lecturers, for the pure joy of seeking knowledge, and knowing that they too want the same - no, not only the 'A' grade but SOCIAL JUSTICE?

I enjoyed my years studying in uni tremendously (note: the enjoyment may wane a little during exam periods)...not that i do not enjoy work or that it is terribly arduous..just that the possibilities laid out for a student (yes, that 4 months-loooooong holiday can do a lot of things; humanitarian relief, overseas training, serious self reflection, catching up on other things or people who mean a lot to you, like your family)seems to be more than that for the working adult..possibly because, students are fuelled with youthful idealism, enthusiasm and energy compared to the working adult who spends eight to twelve hours in the office and then, has little energy left to do much after work..

" we need spirited, energetic & strong young people whose hearts are filled with life, enthusiasm, zeal & dynamism; whose souls are full of ambition, spark within you." -muhammad iqbal

may allah swt give me, and my teman - teman seperjuangan, the strength, patience and istiqamah to continue in our efforts to further His Cause with much creativity and enthusiasm...ameen

disclaimer: while student life should be the most embraced, studying should not be an end in itself, but a means towards achieving a higher purpose, that is to seek mardhatillah...wallahu 'alam

2006-05-11T16:03:00.000+08:00

.: REBUTIA :.

got another day mc thanks to the averse reactions to the antibiotics for my tonsilitis...decided that i am having more brain power today, well enough to write about the confessions of an economic hitman when my dearest friend, azma reminded me, over msn, about REBUTIA...

with pictures to accompany, courtesy of kals' (another dearEST friend- i know "est" is supposed to denote MOST, but we shant argue about language rules,and you get the point-these people are basically extremely dear to me) otherwise known as philosophical perfectionist (if i have time, shall tell you abt the history behind the nick),and azma, i thought i should write about REBUTIA instead, before the memory is ebbed away with time...

REBUTIA REBUTIA...

an adventure based learning centre in malaysia - a training centre which uses outdoor training as a methodology to raise God-consciousness amongst the participants.. i went there twice, once with sp and the other was with pbmuks, of which i was part of the organising committee..oh how I miss those days!!! yes, those were the days...the company we had, the serene surroundings, the programme; imagine abseiling down a waterfall after a long day's trekking or walking alone at night in the thick jungle, clear water cascading down the river; bliss! (subhanallah), and the trainers whom were so inspiringly sincere in conveying THE MESSAGE..masya allah..they forbid evil yet arent offensive..they walk the talk, and invite (not force) others alongside with them..

i am grateful to be exposed to good people and granted good company when i was in uni, without whom, i'd probably be somewhere (or someone) else (possibly a not-too-pleasant-somewhere/someone-else) right now...you people know who you are and i would like to thank you for everything..

enjoy the rebutia pictures...

serene jungle in which we trekked

high elements - quite nerve-wrecking, even with the safety harness
well, i happen to be acrophobic (totally scared of heights)

the girls at the "colosseum"-
more like an outdoor auditorium, tribal council look alike

forever etched in memories...

2006-05-10T19:23:00.000+08:00

.: FIRST ENTRY :.

in the name of allah most gracious most merciful...

yes, always start something good with a basmallah...so i am hoping that this is something good indeed...

while the world has caught onto the blogging craze EONS ago (ok, i am exaggerating but it sure feels like a long time ago), i honestly never really seem to get the idea, for some very simple reasons:

a. why would I expose MY LIFE for the WHOLE WORLD to read?!
b. i am not someone who is consistent in updating stuff lest my blog which i think would be the least in priorities; well, i lead quite a busy life..sort of..
c. who in the world would read MY BLOG?! *ok, this is where i have a crisis-do i want people to read my blog or dont i? *

so, why have i converted from a 'blog-resistor' to a 'blog-embracer'??

well, there are several factors/ engineered coincidences which have led to this conversion:

a. my friend's blog -erni, more affectionately known as blossom...an interesting blog which actually encourages good words...so, i thought, maybe then blogging is not just about writing a journal & letting the whole world read it
b. my fever and tonsilitis - my temperature was 38.5 degrees celsius last night and my throat is so sore that swallowing my saliva is a slow, painful and measured task (i am on soft diet now- yes, PORRIDGE!)...Being on MC allows me some time to type something, somewhere
c. i just finished reading a book " the confessions of an economic hitman" (categorised as current events/politics, non fiction) today and was inspired by the author to share the knowledge and blogging seems to be a feasible tool...*i'll write about it at another time- too much brain power needed for that one- u know, i am on medication*
d. blogspot marketing - yes, i fell for it!!! "get your own blog in 3 simple steps" - seems easy enough and so, in the spur of the moment, i just decided to sign up

et voila! I suddenly have my own blog...i have no idea how this is going to be..heck, i had a hard time trying to think of a blog name & address..."me, myself & i" seem very narcissistic but i guess, its apt enough since whatever i will post would probably be about things that affect me in one way or another (note: not always ABOUT ME)...*as you can see, i am trying very hard to justify my choice of blog title - a lack of creative juice due to the 38.5 degrees celsius temperature sound like a good reason*

okiez, i think that should be it for my first posting...shall not bore you (i dont even know who i am talking to - as at NOW, nobody, NOBODY even knows this blog exists) or myself further...

marlina signing out...