I watched the movie, Mermaid (2000), over the weekend. Based on a true story, it is a heart wrenching tale of a young mother and daughter coping with the sudden death of their beloved husband and father. The 4 year-old daughter writes a letter to her dead father and attaches it to a balloon with a picture of a mermaid, which miraculously ended up in mermaid lake, a few thousand miles across the country. She receives a reply from a family who found the letter, and managed to overcome her depression.
Besides the beautiful story/miracle, what struck me was the mother’s struggle to cope with her husband’s death; wanting to move on and socialise and yet feeling guilty for not continuing to live with memories of her husband for months.
I realised then, that in Islam, we have the perfect solution – iddah, a period after divorce during which the woman is not able to marry another. Time bound, it gives time for women to cope with grief, and a guide (and license) for them to move on with their lives.
Whoever from amongst you dies and leaves behind wives, the wives will hold themselves [from marriage] for four months and ten days. Then, when they have expired this period, there is no blame upon you in whatever they do regarding themselves, according to the recognized traditions. And God is fully aware of whatever you are doing. And there is no blame upon you in proposing [marriage] to these women or in keeping such proposal to yourself - God is aware that you would mention it to them - but do not make with them any secret commitments, except that you say a noble word to them. However, do not commit the marriage-contract with them, until the law has reached its prescribed time... (Al-Baqarah 2: 234 - 235)
Besides the beautiful story/miracle, what struck me was the mother’s struggle to cope with her husband’s death; wanting to move on and socialise and yet feeling guilty for not continuing to live with memories of her husband for months.
I realised then, that in Islam, we have the perfect solution – iddah, a period after divorce during which the woman is not able to marry another. Time bound, it gives time for women to cope with grief, and a guide (and license) for them to move on with their lives.
Whoever from amongst you dies and leaves behind wives, the wives will hold themselves [from marriage] for four months and ten days. Then, when they have expired this period, there is no blame upon you in whatever they do regarding themselves, according to the recognized traditions. And God is fully aware of whatever you are doing. And there is no blame upon you in proposing [marriage] to these women or in keeping such proposal to yourself - God is aware that you would mention it to them - but do not make with them any secret commitments, except that you say a noble word to them. However, do not commit the marriage-contract with them, until the law has reached its prescribed time... (Al-Baqarah 2: 234 - 235)
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