To the Virgins, Make Much of Time

Got another surprise after lunch, with a bunch of sweet smelling white lilies (one of my favourites) on my desk; from a colleague to brighten my mood during my last few days here. I love gifts for non- occasions – be it a chocolate bar, a stalk of flower, a pretty note, a sweet email. Many of which I have gotten in my two and a half years here (especially on highly stressful days), forming sweet memories and friendships that I will always treasure, insya allah.

The sweet flowers reminded me of one of my favourite poems (from one of my favourite movies). As I move on to a new career, may I make much of time; touching lives and healing hearts. Mine included.

To the Virgins, Make Much of Time - Robert Herrick

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,

Old time is still a-flying,

And this same flower that smiles today,

To-morrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,

The higher he's a-getting,

The sooner will his race be run,

And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,

When youth and blood are warmer;

But being spent, the worse and worst

Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,

and while ye may, go marry;

For having lost just once your prime,

You may for ever tarry.

Of Gangs and Alleys…

Last night, I was just done with my Maghrib and was about to leave the mosque when I heard a commotion, which sounded like a gang fight. The pakciks (uncles) at the mosque immediately rushed out. I looked out from the musollah and saw a group of young men running away frightfully into the dark walkway.

When I went out of the mosque, I saw a Bangladeshi lying on the ground and pakciks standing around. I asked if he was stabbed. Nope. I contemplated between calling the police or the ambulance. I wasn’t thinking much but I thought maybe the man needed an ambulance and went with my instincts. I hope he is well now.

Fear crept into me as I walked into the dim walkway that the young men ran into just a few moments before – overpowered by 5-6 big sized men, I could be easily stabbed or worse. I decided that I should put my trust in God, and coaxed myself – it ain’t that bad to die while walking to a class in which you are seeking His ‘ilm.

I have been thinking about it ever since. Maybe I should’ve called the police. Maybe I should’ve gone out the moment I heard the commotion and gave the salam to these young men. Maybe…Maybe…

What is clear though, is that I need to do something more...

May God give me the strength and guidance in doing so...

Insya allah.

i'm yours. jason mraz.

I had a huge crush the moment I heard it. A closer look at the lyrics and a sighting of the music video depicting his journey sealed my love for the song (and the singer?).

Simple yet profound, it can be largely interpreted to be a lover’s realisation, journey and conversation with his Lord. Spending too much time on non-events, we are indeed distracted from the reality that we belong and will return to Him. And once we know the real reason for BEING, we will not hesitate to realise our purpose, potential, and our chance to be with our ultimate love.

* * * * *






Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
i love peaceful melody
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
My breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what i'ma saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate Our time is short
this is our fate, I'm yours


Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find the sky is yours
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A lá one big family (2nd time: A lá happy family; 3rd time: A lá peaceful melody)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No please, don't complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
No please, don't hesitate
no more, no more
It cannot wait
The sky is your's!

.: mermaid :.

I watched the movie, Mermaid (2000), over the weekend. Based on a true story, it is a heart wrenching tale of a young mother and daughter coping with the sudden death of their beloved husband and father. The 4 year-old daughter writes a letter to her dead father and attaches it to a balloon with a picture of a mermaid, which miraculously ended up in mermaid lake, a few thousand miles across the country. She receives a reply from a family who found the letter, and managed to overcome her depression.

Besides the beautiful story/miracle, what struck me was the mother’s struggle to cope with her husband’s death; wanting to move on and socialise and yet feeling guilty for not continuing to live with memories of her husband for months.

I realised then, that in Islam, we have the perfect solution – iddah, a period after divorce during which the woman is not able to marry another. Time bound, it gives time for women to cope with grief, and a guide (and license) for them to move on with their lives.

Whoever from amongst you dies and leaves behind wives, the wives will hold themselves [from marriage] for four months and ten days. Then, when they have expired this period, there is no blame upon you in whatever they do regarding themselves, according to the recognized traditions. And God is fully aware of whatever you are doing. And there is no blame upon you in proposing [marriage] to these women or in keeping such proposal to yourself - God is aware that you would mention it to them - but do not make with them any secret commitments, except that you say a noble word to them. However, do not commit the marriage-contract with them, until the law has reached its prescribed time... (Al-Baqarah 2: 234 - 235)

.: hearts :.

I was at a train-the-trainers session with our consultant from u.s. yesterday and we were discussing what qualities are essential for a good trainer. The usual “confidence, good knowledge, ability to engage” and etc were aired.

But he highlighted that what is most important is SINCERITY - It is difficult to deliver what you don’t believe in.

Yet, there is no denying that there are those who are able to sell (and sell well) what they may not necessarily believe in.

Does it matter, really? For it is not our business (or ability?) to know whether one meant what one says, or whether one truly believes.

But the heart doesn’t lie, and He knows it.

"Whether you conceal what is in your hearts or bring it into the open, God knows it: for He knows all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth; and God has the power to will anything."

Al – Imran 3:29


And, I was reminded that what comes from the heart will touch the heart of another.

Very important in this business of “touching hearts, changing lives.”

Be Whole.

with the week zipping past by me; so busy with work i had hardly the time to sit at my desk. i deliberately took a break last night. i went to kino and got myself a book (ok, 2 books - i couldnt help myself).

poignant and profound, i'm delightfully lost in the world of melodious rhymes. just sharing with you my favourite lines thus far (i am only at page....70?).

The home we seek is in eternity;

The Truth we seek is like a shoreless sea,

Of which your paradise is but a drop.

This ocean can be yours;why should you stop

Beguiled by dreams of evanescent dew?

The secrets of the sun are yours, but you

Content yourself with motes trapped in its beams.

Turn to what truly lives, reject what seems -

Which matters more, the body or the soul?

Be whole: desire and journey to the Whole.

- The Conference of the Birds -

now, if only i have the time to sit at coffee bean with a friend and do a recital of the book...madame blossom? anyone?

.:starbucked and salam :.

i've come to realise that more people read my blog than i give myself credit for.

anyways,

an encounter on the train home...

him: thats an interesting book you are reading.

me: yes. it is. do you know that starbucks doesnt franchise and opens a new outlet every other day (i think)?

him: the coffee is too strong for me. and i dont think they will break into the south african market.

me: you'll never know. maybe you will find one once you reach home.

and all the way from city hall to simei, we went to talk about him and me, our religion, the society, our lives. him happens to be from south africa and what brought him to singapore is his faith - he apparently became a pastor five years ago after a career in mechanical (or was it computer?) engineering.

i was blessed with an interesting conversation with a stranger. i almost didnt because i had thought of moving to another seat, or risk standing all the way - he was after all, a big burly middle aged man who almost squashed me (our train seats, well, are meant to be seated by asian-sized, pardon my language, bottoms). and i would have missed a chance of spreading the salam.

and, i am suddenly craving for a white chocolate dream...

our parents

This week, two of my friends’ mum passed away within a span of three days. One, I had the chance to visit and witness the enshrouding of kain kapan.

I was reminded of my parents whom have given me and my siblings (and now, their grandchildren) so much – bersengkang mata and berikat perut to bring us up, even to pawn some of my mum’s jewellery when they couldn’t make ends meet -and the immense love, joy and stability they’ve institutionalised in the family (they don’t believe in corporal punishment so, creative methods of tying the brothers at different pillars of the kampong house was engaged instead)

They are in their sixties now. My dad is no longer as stoic as I remembered him to be when I was growing up. My mum, with her osteoarthritis cannot move about easily. Both are frail. But both still cannot help but be self-sacrificial. Just mention that you want to eat your favourite food and it’d be whipped up almost instantly, despite their aching legs and tired limbs.

Yet. In the busy – ness of my life at work and the irony of being active on various dakwah platforms, I often forget. I often forget that they too need our love and attention.

I need to

Spend more time at home.
Try to fulfil their needs and wants. (if not now, when else)
To always keep them in my prayers.
And to continue to do good.

It is not only our salvation we are after, but theirs as well. We all want to go to heaven together, don’t we?

May Allah have mercy on me and my loved ones in life and in death, in this world and the hereafter.

* * * * *

Rabbighfirli wali walidayya warhamhuma kamaa rabbayani saghirah...

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan kami kami, Ampun kanlah dosa kami
Ampunkanlah dosa kedua orang tua kami
Peliharalah mereka, (sayangilah mereka, rahmatilah mereka, jagalah mereka)
sepertimana mereka telah memelihara kami (menyayangi kami, mengasihani
kami) sewaktu kami kecil

The Muslim Youth Pledge

I thought that this pledge deserves an entry on its own.... =)

The Muslim Youth Pledge

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

We bear witness that there is no god but Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger.We acknowledge that the purpose of our lives is none but to worship Allah and our intended role on this earth is as His Khalifah.Thus, we, the Muslim Youth of Today, do hereby pledge that we will strive to do all we can to uphold this responsibility and make this world a better place for all creations.We believe there is hope for the future and we seek Allah’s guidance in realising that hope!

pledge penned down by dew embun, and endorsed, argued about, commented by fellow brothers and sisters =)

EXERCISE!

I need to exercise!!! Feeling lethargic and having backaches from a lack of it. Heavy. So heavy.

Doesnt help that i used to feel light (and thus how i know how it feels like) because my fitness regime back in JC was:

a. at least a 2.4 km run EVERYDAY

b. 100 sit ups EVERYDAY

c. 20 push ups SOMETIMES (i HATE push ups)

of course, then, i had softball and hockey training back to back, EVERYDAY. (warning: those taking your a levels, do not, i repeat, do not attempt at playing everyday and NOT studying much)

can u imagine???? everyday!

yeah, those times when i could eat and eat and eat and not put on any weight. and then, there's the correlation between metabolism rate and age (i am getting older - some are rolling their eyes, i know).

come on, people! Lets exercise!!! Lagipun, a strong mukmin is better than a weak one, right?

too ambitious, we shant be. lets start with the stairs. and the aerobics/ kick boxing. and the briskwalking. and ....

awe and inspiration....

Recovering from post-camp exhaustion, attributed to sleepless nights and a mad rush…But fired nonetheless…

Building Resilient Muslim Youth Camp 16 – 18 feb 08.

“Goose bumps…are the bumps on a person's skin at the base of body hairs which involuntarily develop when a person is cold or experiences STRONG EMOTIONS such as fear or AWE, or captures the essence of a unique experience.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piloerection

Happened to me quite a bit during the camp. I believe I was in AWE.

I was in AWE of my younger brothers and sisters’ energy, enthusiasm and earnestness in seeking knowledge; their spirit to know more about Islam, and about themselves.

I was in AWE of the facilitators’ dedication and zeal to guide their younger brothers and sisters thru. ¾ of the facilitators turned up for a pre-camp overnight session at masjid ahmad, despite being called for at the last minute. And they kept their eyes open and minds engaged as we thrashed out the topics (and thrash we did) late into the night.

I was in AWE of how He had weaved in the hearts of strangers, love for each other, in our journey to seek His Blessings, His Mardhatillah.

I was in AWE at how He has kept us together, despite our obvious differences (kadang-kadang sampai gaduh–gaduh). May He not take away the nikmat of being those whom were given the opportunity to carry out His Word.

I was in AWE of His Miracles, His Help. I had my doubts. Many a time, I thought the camp won’t be successful judging from our lack in preparation. But He has always proven me wrong – teaching me again and again that…

Success is not borne out of our efforts. But PURELY out of His Will.

To my darling group members
Farah, Wani, Aisyah, Nadiah, Arini, Syafiqah, Fazliah… I have learnt much from you. More than you ever know. Thank you for opening a moment of your lives to me.

My younger brothers and sisters reminded me of the youth’ idealism at striving for perfection. An idealism that has been more often now, been clouded with realism of the working world. You have no idea how much I draw my strength from all of you.

To my dearest facis
You were God-sent. My angels. May your limbs be witnesses of the good you have done in His Cause in the hereafter. May Allah reward you generously. One asked for inspiring words from me (i almost forgot i said them - it was months before and i didnt think it was much of an inspiration) when in fact all of you were my inspiration.

And for all that, Thank you.

oh, and thank you for showing project zip! video - i almost forgot my experience - gives me a sense of nostalgia and hope.

May Allah gives me the strength, patience and istiqamah to continue doing His Work.

For Pictures and Videos...please visit

http://www.1fmsa.blogspot.com/

zoned out

do u get those moments when you just "zone out" to dunno-where-in-space? those moments when your body does something but your mind is not tuned?

today, i typed,"call" instead of "cold." "go home" instead of "to meet".

and a whole load of "wrongs" when typing emails, keying in sms-es. i had to re-read everything i typed and keyed in. thank God i am on course and not typing some policy paper which would need every inch of my functioning brain.

i think i am not myself today. i am not well.

go home and rest, i shall.

a broken train, a father's love

and so, i was early to go to work...wouldve reached work at ard 845...

sekali the mrt broke down...so no trains...the gates were shut down at simei mrt station and there was a sign ...

MRT breakdown at Tampines

Expected time to resume BLANK

i took a pic. (not available yet)

there were shuttle buses to tanah merah but the queue was amazing...i even thought of taking half day urgent leave...but not possible because i have an afternoon FULL of meetings...

i went to get breakfast, went to get coffee frm ntuc...and walked, thinking of an exit plan...

and remembered my dad...so i called home to ask whether he is able to send me to tanah merah...

while on the bike, i jokingly asked, can send to ghim moh? he said yes. i was like are u sure??!!!! he said, yeah...today dont need to take care of mardhiah (my adorable yet mischevious niece) coz my sis not working...maybe he welcomed the change from the usual routine. maybe because he saw the jam around the tanah merah area (imagine people frm pasir ris, tampines and simei converging at tanah merah...

then, he dropped me off...i was so touched...i kissed his hand, he kissed my forehead...

i am thankful for a father like him...may he be taken care of by God always...

jesus loves u

This morning, I was on the way to work, resting my eyes and taking a breather before the busy – ness and chaos of the day starts, when…

“excuse me, miss…jesus is the son of god. jesus loves you.” A woman, smiled and handed me her card and some stuff I have yet to open and read. Her card read “evangelist.”

I was thinking…what should i say? Should I tell her off? In the end, I let it go (i admit, may not be the best reaction) coz I didn’t want to be confrontational early in the morning and thought too much of the different scenarios that could happen. By that time, she alighted already la.

But, in case any of us experience this in future, below could be some suggestions:

If you have 1 minute…

“You know, I actually believe in Jesus too. I believe he is a prophet of God. And God loves you.”

If you have 3 minutes …

“You know, I actually believe in Jesus too. But I believe he is a prophet of God and NOT His son. How can God have a son when He is God??? Isn’t He after all the Almighty God who created us and wouldn’t resemble any of His creations in any way??”

If you have more than 3 minutes (and the English translation of the quran at hand) …

“You know, I actually believe in jesus too. But I believe he is a prophet of God and NOT His son. How can God have a son when He is God??? Isn’t He after all the Almighty God who created us and wouldn’t resemble any of His creations in any way?? Why don’t you read these verses from a chapter named Maryam, or better know to you as Mary?”

other suggestions, anyone???

by the way, i realised that the book i was reading, "the story of god" was on my lap. maybe she thought that i am a restless soul searching for God. anyway, i just went for a public lecture by the archbishop of canterbury on religious diversity and social unity last night - how interesting.

.: Qurban, anyone??? :.

Good place to qurban...

The daging also goes to an area where christianisation is going on...Good to help...Went there 2 years ago - beautiful place, in case anyone interested to go la...

.: work sweet work :.

i was looking around my workspace the other day and realised that it is quite pretty, made up of many pretty things.

its slightly changed now - more organised, as i become a tad more OCD-ish (Obsessive Complulsive Disorder) after a recent course on Effective Project Management Skills. neater, prettier, with more additions...i should take a picture of the whole work space from varying angles...

work sweet work...

.: thursday FALL :.

i was walking to work, thinking about life, singing praises to God, thinking about men's cruelty - which i wanted to blog about after bawling my eyes with tears watching "innocent voices" late last night.

feeling fortunate that i am alive. i was contented.

then i suddenly tripped over the steps which i have been climbing on my way to work for almost 2 years now, and at the same second, dropped my icy mocha soya which happens to be my current craze.

innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun. i told myself, its ok. we all fall.

i dont know why i fell but there must be a good reason to it. maybe it is a sign from God, telling me i will one day die. How ironic since i was reading about death on my way to work.

maybe, i fell so that i can pick myself up again.

the morning, despite the fall has not turned out bad at all. i managed to save 3/4 of my icy mocha soya.

.: over chocolate fondue :.

i havent been thinking much; its worrying - i try to console myself with reading "intelligent" books on the way to and fro work. just preoccupied with daily nothings and great logistical decisions. but i thought, since my boss is on leave and i have been a tad too efficient these past few days, i'd start the discipline to WRITE on my blog (how ironic).

it was interesting that we met yesterday - the 3 of us, social work grads, lamenting on the politics of the trade, working life and reminiscing about the times we spent in school - one of them complained that i was too fast in walking - since she is short, one stride of mine is equal to a few of hers. And she wears HEELS, for goodness sake! amazed at how we had continued to be friends, against all odds. she was the control freak and i was the total opposite.

then, we realised working life has changed us. she has learnt to become more last minute while i learnt to be less last minute. another friend said she had changed for the worse - no longer a good listener (after listening daily to people's problems, what would you expect?). we arent as idealistic, arent as lofty. more real. more mean.

the hazard of the job.

but we are still enjoying it.

may i go on to a job that i am passionate about. more passionate than i am now. aameen

ps: bloss, we need to go orchard and take pictures - its so pretty! and no, i am not a promoter of consumerism.

oh yes, in case you are wondering why the title - we had chocolate fondue at swensens!

:: SYAHIDnya seorang teman seperjuangan::

“kalau tak sempat jumpa kat dunia, kita jumpa kat jannah eh?”

Silent pause. Then, a concerted, “aameen, insya allah.”

Such were the frequent endings to our long distance conversations, for sometimes being miles apart, it felt almost impossible that we would meet again. Little did we know that it would be for real – much too soon...for most.

11 years ago, we met in a camp that was life changing (ok, not exactly but eye opening enough). More apt to say that it was a camp that would, in God’s own mysterious ways change our life courses. We had our pre-‘converted’ days, our weaknesses. We floated in and out. We travelled together, literally and figuratively speaking, thru life phases. There was a tie that bound us – the tie of ukhuwwah, a beautiful friendship. We’ve had our fall outs, often due to differences in opinions but always, just like our last conversation during ramadhan, “mintak maaf k. sekarang kita 0-0.”

He has touched the lives of many and would continually do so – prolonging his amal daripada ilmu yang dimanfaatkan.

I pray that I will always remember him; his raspy voice, his smile and laughter and the knowledge he has imparted.

I pray that I will remember his constant longing for SYAHID…

“I rasa I tak tahan nanti kena hisab ah, mar…No other way but SYAHID.”

I pray that I will remember his determination against all odds, everything-also-can attitude, and often to my disgruntled disbelief, “fiq, u biar benar?”

From budak hingusan at ITE to Guntor, from Guntor to Syria (with only as much as to cover his one way flight ticket), from Syria to short stint in London, purely to seek His ‘Ilm…I was impressed.

" Mar, yang u risau kenapa? Kumpul jek duit untuk flight. Then, tawakkal ilallah. Betulkan niat and just GO…”

And off he went. I should’ve followed for thenafter he would constantly make me jealous by rattling on and on about how happy he was in Syria and how I was missing out on life in seeking pure knowledge – not to mention my horrendous Arabic which he would NEVER laugh at (he would just snigger la) for he remembered how difficult it was to learn arabic from zero.

* * * * *

And at times, he would wonder who would turn up at his funeral…

“Yelah, siapa nak tengok I, bacakan I Yaa- Sin…Siapalah I ni…nak cakap lawa, tak lawa, setakat harapkan manis je.” (Yes, he was hilariously funny and able to brighten one’s bad day)

If he had known the throngs of people who turned up at an nur mosque to solat jenazah (the prayer hall was full), people from his past and present who do’akan, who witnessed his burial; he wouldn’t have had to worry.

A few months back, while asking him about his marriage, which he was so looking forward to …

“mar, I tak tau ah but I rasa macam tak sampai.”

After which, I retorted and went on a whole rhetoric about how suicide bombing is haram and how it is not jihad and etc. I was afraid he was influenced by weird ideologies. He assured me he was still sane and firmly grounded.

Little did we know. Little did I know.

Little did I know, that I would be reciting the Yaasin by his ears in his last hours – reminding him of Allah’s promise to the Believers

Little did I know that I would be reciting the do’a from the book he lent to me for safekeeping while he studies in Syria:

Narrated ‘Auf bin Malik, Allah’s Messenger prayed on a dead body and I memorized from his supplication,

“O Allah, forgive him, show him mercy, grant him security, pardon him, grant him a noble provision and a spacious lodging, wash him with water, snow, and ice and hail, purify him from sins as the white garment is purified from filth, give him a better abode in place of his present one, a better family in place of his present one, and a better spouse in place of his present one, put him in Paradise and save him from the trial in the grave and the punishment of Hell.” – reported by Muslim, from The Book of Funerals, Bulughul Maram-

May my brother be placed amongst the syuhada’ and anbiya’ whom he was so looking forward to meet.

And yes, insya allah, we will meet in Jannah, just like in our constant do’a.

* * * * *

Below are just some pictures highlighting the short but full life he led...

playing football in damsyiq!

rafiq in syria - one of the reasons he enjoyed syria was the multifaceted muslim community - highlighting the truely global Islam. the child according to him was of euro descent.

Rafiq in London! his first snow experience kot...

.: azma's wedding pics :.

azma's wedding pics - of course there's a LOT MORE (i had the opportunity to take loads of pics coz i was the bridesmaid la)...but that would take ages to upload anywhere and i dun have the luxury of time or patience nowadays...(ps: yati, i nanti burnkan the rest in a cd for u?)

this is way overdue but congrats (again!) to the both 'azma & fir...may ur marriage be constantly blessed by allah s.w.t, insya allah (hari baik, bulan baik ni, mesti do'a banyak banyak)...

other than that, tonight marks the 20th day of ramadhan - may these remaining days brings us closer to allah, may He accept our deeds and forgive all our sins and may we be given the nikmat of life to meet the next ramadhan...

the last one is my personal favourite... =) so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet...