is it normal?
to think of going home while on the way to work?
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
moral support
ok, if you have a whole year to pay back the days that you've missed your puasa/saum/fast, when do you do it?
the month just before fasting month! apparently, i have been procrastinating (i need to deal with this) till i cant procrastinate longer...teruk kan.
but thats not the point of this entry...in view of my fasting, my chinese-malaysian colleague has been extra concerned. this morning...
YP: marlina, are u ok or not? u've been fasting right.
Me: Yah, I am good lah
YP: U feeling cold? (coz i was wearing my jacket la)
Me: yeah, a bit. maybe because i am fasting (its actually raining heavily)
YP: I think i will fast la, for one day with you - to give u moral support.
kwang kwang kwang. yes, my colleagues are concerned that i am not eating.
the month just before fasting month! apparently, i have been procrastinating (i need to deal with this) till i cant procrastinate longer...teruk kan.
but thats not the point of this entry...in view of my fasting, my chinese-malaysian colleague has been extra concerned. this morning...
YP: marlina, are u ok or not? u've been fasting right.
Me: Yah, I am good lah
YP: U feeling cold? (coz i was wearing my jacket la)
Me: yeah, a bit. maybe because i am fasting (its actually raining heavily)
YP: I think i will fast la, for one day with you - to give u moral support.
kwang kwang kwang. yes, my colleagues are concerned that i am not eating.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Panda eYEs & praYer Place
It has been an eventFUL (will update soon) pre-weekend and weekend, with late nights and assignments (both school & work).
When I went to teach at 8am on Sunday, my primary 2 student:
She : teacher marlina, what’s wrong with your eyes?
Me : huh? Why?
She : they look different.
Me : Oh
Dalam hatiku, must be the panda eyes. I am scaring off my students.
When I went to teach at 8am on Sunday, my primary 2 student:
She : teacher marlina, what’s wrong with your eyes?
Me : huh? Why?
She : they look different.
Me : Oh
Dalam hatiku, must be the panda eyes. I am scaring off my students.
* * * * *
Tonight, my previous department colleagues are having dinner (like the good ol’ days) in celebration of our boss’ promotion.
Once we decided on dinner (at 7pm),
Colleague S: marlina, you need to pray right? Aiyah, where you want to pray?
Me: the place is near the mosque
Uncle J (another colleague): anywhere also can pray, right?
Me: yeah, see, uncle J clever.
Thus, from wherever thou mayest come forth, turn thy face [in prayer] towards the Inviolable House of Worship-for. Behold, this [commandment] comes in truth from thy Sustainer; and God is not unaware of what you do. 2:149
ps: tried to look for a verse in the quran; something about the earth as a place for prayer (or is it a hadith?). Anybody who knows, please help. Thanks.
ps: tried to look for a verse in the quran; something about the earth as a place for prayer (or is it a hadith?). Anybody who knows, please help. Thanks.
Monday, August 06, 2007
when the cats are off, the mice comes out to play...
it is post-sunday. management is on 2 days retreat. and what do people do when their bosses are away?
At 3.51pm, I was way beyond sleepy. most of my colleagues were.
i tried 2 cups of coffee. we tried to take a fruit eating break with whoever is left on the floor i.e. less than 10 people.
then, i remembered.
its been a looong time since Ive blogged - somebody commented, "blog pun dah berhabuk".
so, decided that i shall just do something different from the usual routine of "perah otak" to put forth some papers to some atas people, and trying to comprehend stacks of otherwise meaningless papers (yes, we are killing trees) and make meaning out of mere numbers (read: statistics)
anyways, in relation to mai sb's latest entry http://anewlifeahead.blogspot.com/ (u so sweet - so touching), i realised i do have a picture of 4 of us, MINUS HER
somehow, we cant get everyone at the same time, at the same place. shall we resort to superimposing our photos?
i wanna canoe/climb/cycle. i wanna walk. i wanna break free.
At 3.51pm, I was way beyond sleepy. most of my colleagues were.
i tried 2 cups of coffee. we tried to take a fruit eating break with whoever is left on the floor i.e. less than 10 people.
then, i remembered.
its been a looong time since Ive blogged - somebody commented, "blog pun dah berhabuk".
so, decided that i shall just do something different from the usual routine of "perah otak" to put forth some papers to some atas people, and trying to comprehend stacks of otherwise meaningless papers (yes, we are killing trees) and make meaning out of mere numbers (read: statistics)
anyways, in relation to mai sb's latest entry http://anewlifeahead.blogspot.com/ (u so sweet - so touching), i realised i do have a picture of 4 of us, MINUS HER
somehow, we cant get everyone at the same time, at the same place. shall we resort to superimposing our photos?
i wanna canoe/climb/cycle. i wanna walk. i wanna break free.
Friday, June 15, 2007
.: reminder :.
I have been sharing with my close colleagues about Islam; halal food, solat, fasting month, hari raya, modest dressing, stand on certain issues…and etc
And so, I’ve realised that maybe I have been too effective in my sharing.
You see, I was wearing blouse and pants yesterday. And my non-muslim colleague went, “ marlina, I think this baju a bit wrong – show off your figure”
That disturbed me. What led her to say what she said? I thought about it yesterday. I thought about it today.
1. I don’t think the blouse is super sexy
2. Maybe it is because I always wear something loose/long to work.
3. I don’t have much of a figure (but that’s besides the point)
I asked her again today just to clarify & be doubly sure (amounting to a decision as to whether I need to give that currently-one-of-my-favourite-blouses of mine away)
Me: Yesterday, my baju really a bit wrong ah?
She: I think it was the tudung. Not like today.
Me: But yesterday’s tudung and today’s tudung is the same size mah!
She: hhhmmmmm. I think yesterday you pinned it wrongly. That’s why never cover properly.
Me: ok.
I smiled. I don’t have to give away the blouse. And yes, even a non-muslim can be a wonderful reminder.
And so, I’ve realised that maybe I have been too effective in my sharing.
You see, I was wearing blouse and pants yesterday. And my non-muslim colleague went, “ marlina, I think this baju a bit wrong – show off your figure”
That disturbed me. What led her to say what she said? I thought about it yesterday. I thought about it today.
1. I don’t think the blouse is super sexy
2. Maybe it is because I always wear something loose/long to work.
3. I don’t have much of a figure (but that’s besides the point)
I asked her again today just to clarify & be doubly sure (amounting to a decision as to whether I need to give that currently-one-of-my-favourite-blouses of mine away)
Me: Yesterday, my baju really a bit wrong ah?
She: I think it was the tudung. Not like today.
Me: But yesterday’s tudung and today’s tudung is the same size mah!
She: hhhmmmmm. I think yesterday you pinned it wrongly. That’s why never cover properly.
Me: ok.
I smiled. I don’t have to give away the blouse. And yes, even a non-muslim can be a wonderful reminder.
Monday, May 21, 2007
METTA
In one of those usual playful banters in the car with 4 children & 3 adults
Hazim: Hakim, stop it ah! You very naughty, I send you to metta school then you know!
Hakim: bleargh!
Me: Metta School? Only for special children (read: e.g. low IQ, with learning disability etc), right? Hazim, don’t be mean ok?
Hazim: Hakim should go there!
Hakim: bleargh!
My bro: yeah, don’t make fun of children like that k. They’d probably get to go to heaven first – don’t need to count deeds you know.
Hazim & Hakim: I want to go to Metta school
Me: I don’t think getting to heaven got anything to do with the school you attend. You are normal mah.
Kwang kwang kwang
Hazim: Hakim, stop it ah! You very naughty, I send you to metta school then you know!
Hakim: bleargh!
Me: Metta School? Only for special children (read: e.g. low IQ, with learning disability etc), right? Hazim, don’t be mean ok?
Hazim: Hakim should go there!
Hakim: bleargh!
My bro: yeah, don’t make fun of children like that k. They’d probably get to go to heaven first – don’t need to count deeds you know.
Hazim & Hakim: I want to go to Metta school
Me: I don’t think getting to heaven got anything to do with the school you attend. You are normal mah.
Kwang kwang kwang
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Mortality
I was supposed to blog about KL. But decided not yet, not after reading in the news. An acquaintance passed away in an accident on a mountain yesterday. A mountain I climbed TWICE.
I can’t seem to get over it, ever since a friend sms-ed me yesterday about the news. No, not because I am close to this acquaintance of mine. He was after all, just someone I knew while I travelled along my educational path. But the fact that I KNOW him, makes it so much closer to home.
Past week’s reports about the death of the 2 NSmen in Taiwan, hit by a plane while in a STORE & the woman who was hit by a falling tree, struck a chord in me. Unfortunate incidences, you may say. But I believe they are but ENGINEERED. Engineered by none other but the Almighty.
We all know we are going to die. But we seem to keep forgetting.
Mortality strikes.
It is God [alone that has this power - He] who causes all human beings to die at the time of their [bodily] death, and [causes to be as dead], during their sleep, those that have not yet died: thus, He withholds [from life] those upon whom He has decreed death, and lets the others go free for a term set [by Him]. In [all] this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think!39:42
May the families of those affected be given the strength to pull thru this difficult time, insya allah.
pic: summit at ledangSunday, April 22, 2007
What's in a NAME?!
was browsing thru some blogs and found a birthday calculator. there's also a section on what your name means. dont know how my name points to a number or whats the whole mechanism behind it. interesting though.
* * * * *
What Your Name Means
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You entered: Marlina
There are 7 letters in your name.
Those 7 letters total to 32
There are 3 vowels and 4 consonants in your name.
What your first name means:German Female Variant of Madeline 'Woman from Magdala.
English Female Variant of Marlene, derived from Madeline: Woman from Magdala.
Your number is: 5
The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.
The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.
If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.
Your Soul Urge number is: 11
A Soul Urge number of 11 means:
With the 11 Soul Urge, much of your thinking and interests relate to the abstract, the spiritual, and utopian dreams. You are motivated toward idealistic concepts, and the sharing of your ideas and concepts with humanity. This number is not one that is giving in a material or a practical sense, but rather one who desires to help mankind with a more abstract commodity such as religion, spiritualism, occult studies, or even psychic abilities.
If you possess the positive 11 Soul Urge traits, you have a dream of the perfect world; you are highly idealistic and inspirational. Your inner strength and devotion to your beliefs are extremely strong. You have a very good mind that is especially well equipped to handle the higher, more abstract forms of thought.
If there is an excess of 11 energy in your makeup, you may possess some the negative 11 traits. There is a tendency for the 11 to produce considerable amounts of nervous tension which is bought on by a very high level of awareness. You may be too sensitive and overly emotional. In some cases, these sensitivities and emotions are quite repressed, and this tends to add even more to the sense of nervousness in the makeup.
The strong 11 is not a very practical person because of the extreme idealism; often, there is a degree of self-deception present. There is usually a rather fixed idea of right and wrong held by those showing strong 11 traits, and with this very often is a resulting attitude of inflexibility.
Your Inner Dream number is: 3
An Inner Dream number of 3 means:
You dream of artistic expression; writing, painting, music. You would seek to more freely express your inner feeling and obtain more enjoyment from life. You also dream of being more popular, likable, and appreciated.
http://www.paulsadowski.org/Numbers.asp
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You entered: Marlina
There are 7 letters in your name.
Those 7 letters total to 32
There are 3 vowels and 4 consonants in your name.
What your first name means:German Female Variant of Madeline 'Woman from Magdala.
English Female Variant of Marlene, derived from Madeline: Woman from Magdala.
Your number is: 5
The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.
The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.
If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.
Your Soul Urge number is: 11
A Soul Urge number of 11 means:
With the 11 Soul Urge, much of your thinking and interests relate to the abstract, the spiritual, and utopian dreams. You are motivated toward idealistic concepts, and the sharing of your ideas and concepts with humanity. This number is not one that is giving in a material or a practical sense, but rather one who desires to help mankind with a more abstract commodity such as religion, spiritualism, occult studies, or even psychic abilities.
If you possess the positive 11 Soul Urge traits, you have a dream of the perfect world; you are highly idealistic and inspirational. Your inner strength and devotion to your beliefs are extremely strong. You have a very good mind that is especially well equipped to handle the higher, more abstract forms of thought.
If there is an excess of 11 energy in your makeup, you may possess some the negative 11 traits. There is a tendency for the 11 to produce considerable amounts of nervous tension which is bought on by a very high level of awareness. You may be too sensitive and overly emotional. In some cases, these sensitivities and emotions are quite repressed, and this tends to add even more to the sense of nervousness in the makeup.
The strong 11 is not a very practical person because of the extreme idealism; often, there is a degree of self-deception present. There is usually a rather fixed idea of right and wrong held by those showing strong 11 traits, and with this very often is a resulting attitude of inflexibility.
Your Inner Dream number is: 3
An Inner Dream number of 3 means:
You dream of artistic expression; writing, painting, music. You would seek to more freely express your inner feeling and obtain more enjoyment from life. You also dream of being more popular, likable, and appreciated.
http://www.paulsadowski.org/Numbers.asp
* * * * *
riding on the same note, when others ask me the meaning of my name, i say, " well, the LIN is supposed to mean gentle and soft. But i guess, the Mar & the Na seems to negate that trait la"
my mum: asyik pegi camp aje, panjat gunung la, tak tau duduk diam ke.
my mum: asyik pegi camp aje, panjat gunung la, tak tau duduk diam ke.
(brief trans:cannot keep still ah?)
me (smiles cheekily): "siapa suruh ibu taruk mar & na? taruk Lin aje dah cukup."
ok, so at least my family tries to instil some "gentleness" by calling me "Lin" at home.
So, whats in a name?
Friday, April 06, 2007
.: KL :.
Have I ever told you (sometimes I wonder about this "you") that I’ve never really been to KL, except when I was super young, so young that I cant remember anything??? No, not some exotic beach on the caribbean (which would take eons for me to reach). The KL as in KL, which is a 4-6 hr drive from Singapore.
Dont get me wrong (dont think i am a "frog under the husk" trans. from a malay idiom; katak bawah tempurung) - I’ve been to the outskirts - Taman Negara to trek, Bangi (more than once) for some training programme and etc. BUT I’ve never REALLY been to KL as in KL.
I finally went to Bandar Tun Abdul Razak (I think so) recently (ok, not so recent. some time in feb this year), for some 2 days meeting/training programme with some sisters and brothers.
I think I spent a GRAND total of an hour (lebih kurang) in pudu raya (petaling street pun tak sempat) while waiting for the bus home. Ok, I am definitely looking forward to my next KL trip (this time with no business/meeting agenda). This time, in KL as in KL itself.
So, here’s the closest I’ve been to KL & the twin towers (with the aid of 12x zoom camera – kesian kan?????)
During time out from meeting, we went to the tasik/lake nearby, ada pulak rainbow. masya allah. It was pretty indeed. Subhanallah.
Dont get me wrong (dont think i am a "frog under the husk" trans. from a malay idiom; katak bawah tempurung) - I’ve been to the outskirts - Taman Negara to trek, Bangi (more than once) for some training programme and etc. BUT I’ve never REALLY been to KL as in KL.
I finally went to Bandar Tun Abdul Razak (I think so) recently (ok, not so recent. some time in feb this year), for some 2 days meeting/training programme with some sisters and brothers.
I think I spent a GRAND total of an hour (lebih kurang) in pudu raya (petaling street pun tak sempat) while waiting for the bus home. Ok, I am definitely looking forward to my next KL trip (this time with no business/meeting agenda). This time, in KL as in KL itself.
So, here’s the closest I’ve been to KL & the twin towers (with the aid of 12x zoom camera – kesian kan?????)
During time out from meeting, we went to the tasik/lake nearby, ada pulak rainbow. masya allah. It was pretty indeed. Subhanallah.
ok, i am rather proud of this. it was my first time (sort of) in KL and i took the LRT ALONE!!! ALL ALONE to pudu raya. (of course, there were other commuters)
sunlight on KL. view from the train. It was a pretty sight.
side track sikit: And so, i was with my bagpack, alone, taking pictures. There was an african guy with his friends.
Him: Taking pictures for a school project?
Me: (u mean, i look that young??) No. I am actually from Singapore. Blah blah blah.
he was there to study. singapore, he said, was too expensive.
kwang kwang kwang.
.: desktop tagged :.
Blossom tagged. still dont understand the concept. ok, maybe like playing touch rugby. But anyway, here's the long - overdued desktop image.
Resolution: 1280 x 800
Picture taken: on one fine evening, on the way to arabic class, from blossom's car, at a red traffic light just outside wisma indah, masjid kassim.
More about picture: Love the sunset 'lighting' and the juxtapositioning of the crane (that's what its called kan?) and mortally- arranged streetlamps against the naturally-pretty sunset light and frame of trees. I think I might be reading too much into the picture.
Laptop/LCD or CRT: My laptop named Dellia (pronounced is d -li -a) a.k.a Dellila (pronounced as d-lie-la). even laptops have identity crises.
Wallpaper since : quite some time ago. cant remember exactly when.
Something interesting: waktu tgh print screen tu, hujan gerimis happened to be playing and ter-captured sekali in the printed screen. heh. okla, reminds me; i love rain.
Resolution: 1280 x 800
Picture taken: on one fine evening, on the way to arabic class, from blossom's car, at a red traffic light just outside wisma indah, masjid kassim.
More about picture: Love the sunset 'lighting' and the juxtapositioning of the crane (that's what its called kan?) and mortally- arranged streetlamps against the naturally-pretty sunset light and frame of trees. I think I might be reading too much into the picture.
Laptop/LCD or CRT: My laptop named Dellia (pronounced is d -li -a) a.k.a Dellila (pronounced as d-lie-la). even laptops have identity crises.
Wallpaper since : quite some time ago. cant remember exactly when.
Something interesting: waktu tgh print screen tu, hujan gerimis happened to be playing and ter-captured sekali in the printed screen. heh. okla, reminds me; i love rain.
.: Perfect ImPERFECTIONS :.
I couldn’t stop staring at a rather beautiful and attractive lady with an equally gorgeous boyfriend/fiancé/husband while on the way home from work. It has been a few weeks or is it months but visuals of her continue to linger in my mind. Anyway, I thought that the lady would’ve been more attractive with fuller lips, a broader smile. And I thought, she might have thought the same every other time she examines herself in the mirror.
We always want something more – to have bigger eyes, a smaller waist, a slimmer figure, to be taller/shorter. We always harp on our imperfections.
Truth is, we are created as the best creations – having the ability to discern, to have integrity, to rise above circumstances, to rise above others.
Lord, let us be humbled by our imperfections (not blinded by them) in our strive to attain perfection.
We always want something more – to have bigger eyes, a smaller waist, a slimmer figure, to be taller/shorter. We always harp on our imperfections.
Truth is, we are created as the best creations – having the ability to discern, to have integrity, to rise above circumstances, to rise above others.
Lord, let us be humbled by our imperfections (not blinded by them) in our strive to attain perfection.
Verily, We create man in the best conformation
and thereafter We reduce him to the lowest of low
excepting only such as attain to faith and do good works: and theirs shall be a reward unending!
~The Noble Quran, Surah Tin 95:2-4 ~
Picture taken at the side of a canal/longkang. thought that the pretty flowers amongst the mess, dirt n chaos in the background was poignant.
.: ALLERGY :.
Another episode with my seven years old nephew
Me: Hakim, can you please close the door?
Hakim: Nooooo…
Me: Why can’t you just close the door?
Hakim: (puts on a cute face) Because I am ALLERGIC to doors.
Me: Hakim, can you please close the door?
Hakim: Nooooo…
Me: Why can’t you just close the door?
Hakim: (puts on a cute face) Because I am ALLERGIC to doors.
Monday, April 02, 2007
.: Post – Sunday :.
Last Monday, I had a headache.
It’s Monday morning, again. And I am having a headache, again.
Sharon, my dearest colleague thinks that my headaches had something to do with “Mondays” and so, she came up with a brilliant idea - to call the day, “post-Sunday”.
So smart
Have a good “post-Sunday” everyone. Oh, have a good week ahead – a better week than the last!
Last Monday, I had a headache.
It’s Monday morning, again. And I am having a headache, again.
Sharon, my dearest colleague thinks that my headaches had something to do with “Mondays” and so, she came up with a brilliant idea - to call the day, “post-Sunday”.
So smart
Have a good “post-Sunday” everyone. Oh, have a good week ahead – a better week than the last!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
.: a Father's love :.
Aa'ishah (the Prophet's wife) r.a. reported: "Whenever Fatimah (the Prophet's daughter) came into the room, the Prophet s.a.w would stand up, welcome her, kiss her and offer her his seat, and whenever he came into the room, she would stand up, take his hand , welcome him, kiss him and offer him her seat. When she came to see him during his final illness, he welcomed her & kissed her." - Fath al- Baari, 8/135, Kitaab Al Maghazi, baab maraduhu wa wafatuhu; Abu Dawood, 4/480, Kitaab al-Adab, baab ma jaa' fil-qiyaam -
I just read the above in a book lah. Cant help but to exclaim, " so sweeeeet!!! touching nye..... " (note: the exclamation was silent as i was in the train and didnt really want people to think that i am a nutcase)
ok, so i am blessed. still get the occasional pats and kisses from my dad. and the occasional dances, which will land my mum and sis into a laughing frenzy. alhamdulillah.
:: need to count blessings, again::
Aa'ishah (the Prophet's wife) r.a. reported: "Whenever Fatimah (the Prophet's daughter) came into the room, the Prophet s.a.w would stand up, welcome her, kiss her and offer her his seat, and whenever he came into the room, she would stand up, take his hand , welcome him, kiss him and offer him her seat. When she came to see him during his final illness, he welcomed her & kissed her." - Fath al- Baari, 8/135, Kitaab Al Maghazi, baab maraduhu wa wafatuhu; Abu Dawood, 4/480, Kitaab al-Adab, baab ma jaa' fil-qiyaam -
I just read the above in a book lah. Cant help but to exclaim, " so sweeeeet!!! touching nye..... " (note: the exclamation was silent as i was in the train and didnt really want people to think that i am a nutcase)
ok, so i am blessed. still get the occasional pats and kisses from my dad. and the occasional dances, which will land my mum and sis into a laughing frenzy. alhamdulillah.
:: need to count blessings, again::
Saturday, March 17, 2007
.: here :.
I am here!
i hear korang punya batuk-batuk lah. ampun maaf for not updating my blog & causing great "distress" - i didnt think people actually read my blog la
ive actually started typing out my thoughts that are bugging me incessantly into a word document, which is stuck in my thumbdrive, which is stuck in the usb port in my office computer. my boss decided that we have a life and shoo-ed us off at 8pm last night, so i had to pack up in a hurry.
just to start off the blogging streak, again:
an email reply to a friend who was wondering whether i was still alive (i sometimes go to twilight zone)
indeed i am here
in seeming eternity
a borrowed moment.
itu aje yang saya nak bilang makcik dan pakcik.
I am here!
i hear korang punya batuk-batuk lah. ampun maaf for not updating my blog & causing great "distress" - i didnt think people actually read my blog la
ive actually started typing out my thoughts that are bugging me incessantly into a word document, which is stuck in my thumbdrive, which is stuck in the usb port in my office computer. my boss decided that we have a life and shoo-ed us off at 8pm last night, so i had to pack up in a hurry.
just to start off the blogging streak, again:
an email reply to a friend who was wondering whether i was still alive (i sometimes go to twilight zone)
indeed i am here
in seeming eternity
a borrowed moment.
itu aje yang saya nak bilang makcik dan pakcik.
Monday, February 05, 2007
.: Blissful Monday :.
i am happy/contented because yesterday:
1. i cleaned my room - more like my table. major achievement.
2. i bought books. and realised i couldve gotten them at half price if my bro bought them at makkah. my bro said they were too heavy to carry since most are hard cover. can darussalam publishing have them in paperback, please? =)
3. i had some time out alone yesterday for about 2 hours - walked from bugis to lavender, and took some pictures along the way
4. i bought pretty coloured pens for notes, & pencils for sketching
5. i almost finished a sketch of hakim (my nephew), which i started a few years ago but never completed
6. i realised that i can still sketch. whether or not the sketch resembles the actual person is another matter. i taught myself to sketch people. school taught me to sketch lady's finger.
7. the children especially 8 month-old mardhiah, were happy with the books i got them. seeing the joy on an innocent baby's face is priceless - definitely more than the price of the book itself. mardhiah hugged the book, even while drinking milk. so cute.
This morning:
8. managed to solat subuh berjemaah with my domestic helper.
9. i didnt feel very sleepy on my way to work in the morning, and thus managed to read my book, " great women of Islam - who were given great news of paradise". inspired.
10. i have been productive at work in the morning. quite.
the above are just some of the things i should be thankful for, within a span of less than a day. ni belum termasuk the rain (yes, i love rain. berapa banyak kali nak bilang dah?!), and EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else created to help me fulfil my purpose & destiny in life. subhanallah.
i think counting blessings is a good practice, although it is a totally - humanly - impossible feat. Totally. (ala nur~)
try, i shall. after all, it is not the product, but the process and outcome, that matters.
:: counting blessings ::
i am happy/contented because yesterday:
1. i cleaned my room - more like my table. major achievement.
2. i bought books. and realised i couldve gotten them at half price if my bro bought them at makkah. my bro said they were too heavy to carry since most are hard cover. can darussalam publishing have them in paperback, please? =)
3. i had some time out alone yesterday for about 2 hours - walked from bugis to lavender, and took some pictures along the way
4. i bought pretty coloured pens for notes, & pencils for sketching
5. i almost finished a sketch of hakim (my nephew), which i started a few years ago but never completed
6. i realised that i can still sketch. whether or not the sketch resembles the actual person is another matter. i taught myself to sketch people. school taught me to sketch lady's finger.
7. the children especially 8 month-old mardhiah, were happy with the books i got them. seeing the joy on an innocent baby's face is priceless - definitely more than the price of the book itself. mardhiah hugged the book, even while drinking milk. so cute.
This morning:
8. managed to solat subuh berjemaah with my domestic helper.
9. i didnt feel very sleepy on my way to work in the morning, and thus managed to read my book, " great women of Islam - who were given great news of paradise". inspired.
10. i have been productive at work in the morning. quite.
the above are just some of the things i should be thankful for, within a span of less than a day. ni belum termasuk the rain (yes, i love rain. berapa banyak kali nak bilang dah?!), and EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else created to help me fulfil my purpose & destiny in life. subhanallah.
i think counting blessings is a good practice, although it is a totally - humanly - impossible feat. Totally. (ala nur~)
"For, should you try to count God's blessings, you could never compute them! Behold, God is indeed much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace"
~ An-Nahl 16:18 ~
try, i shall. after all, it is not the product, but the process and outcome, that matters.
:: counting blessings ::
Sunday, January 21, 2007
.: temporary mother :.
26th december 2006. in the car. about 4 a.m.
hazirah: mak busu (youngest aunt), i guess you are going to be our "temporary mother" for now.
me: yeah, i guess so. for one month only.
that was part of a conversation between me and my niece and nephews, during our ride home from the airport, after sending their parents off for hajj - leaving four children in our charge (my bro lives next door so my new found role was a "by-default" one.)
so, that partially explains why i havent been blogging, on top of work, meetings, camps etc and mere "belum-tangkap-mood-ness"(at the rate i am spoiling the bahasa, my sasterawan-uncle would be gravely disappointed).
Being a temporary mother has been rather enjoyable, with its ups and down but i still cant wait for my bro and sis-in-law to come back (this coming tuesday), so that i can tell them rightaway, " you can have your children back." as much as my niece and nephews are smart, intelligent, adorable and totally lovable and huggable...ehem...well, they miss their parents. heh, more like mak busu longing for the time she doesnt have to rush off at 6pm sharp to go home and see to the children's homework and school administrative stuff (i think ive become an expert signing forms, writing letters/sms-ing to teachers and speaking to vice-principals and HODs).
i have since realised that juggling work and family is no mean feat so a new-found-higher (super higher) level of respect to all working mothers. hopefully, by the time i have children i can be a full time home maker who runs some sort of business to supplement the family's income. the business should, by the way, be something i truly enjoy and would benefit the ummah, in one way or another. (hhmmm, social enterprise?)
by the way, while the parents were away on hajj, my nephews decided to fall more than usual and get themselves stitched. hakim had seven stitches on his head a day before his parents went off (and a week before he starts primary one) while hazim just got 4 stitches on his lips last week (my mum's call sent me scurrying to KKH at 4.30pm - grateful for having an understanding boss). getting him to agree to a local anaesthesia (on his lips!!!) was a tricky matter but i quite enjoy seeing him being stitched - no, i am not a sadist, just that ive always been attracted to the medical profession. i havent took a picture of his swollen lips - maybe later tonight.
they are both fine now. alhamdulillah. quite proud of themselves really, comparing the number of stitches.
i will miss the children, and their constant presence around me (yes, i bring them to meetings sometimes since my mum cant cope with all 5 at home), their voice on the phone in the middle of the day, "mak busu, what time are you coming home?", and them running to me (either delighted to see me or to complain on the other bro who doesnt wish to share his toys etc - would miss the former more than the latter) when i come home from work all tired and exhausted.
but i think i am more than glad to take the "mother" hat off for now.
children are great responsibilities. potentials to be unleashed, guided they must be.
may they grow up to be good muslims, serving the community for the sake of allah, insya allah.
.: counting days :.
26th december 2006. in the car. about 4 a.m.
hazirah: mak busu (youngest aunt), i guess you are going to be our "temporary mother" for now.
me: yeah, i guess so. for one month only.
that was part of a conversation between me and my niece and nephews, during our ride home from the airport, after sending their parents off for hajj - leaving four children in our charge (my bro lives next door so my new found role was a "by-default" one.)
so, that partially explains why i havent been blogging, on top of work, meetings, camps etc and mere "belum-tangkap-mood-ness"(at the rate i am spoiling the bahasa, my sasterawan-uncle would be gravely disappointed).
Being a temporary mother has been rather enjoyable, with its ups and down but i still cant wait for my bro and sis-in-law to come back (this coming tuesday), so that i can tell them rightaway, " you can have your children back." as much as my niece and nephews are smart, intelligent, adorable and totally lovable and huggable...ehem...well, they miss their parents. heh, more like mak busu longing for the time she doesnt have to rush off at 6pm sharp to go home and see to the children's homework and school administrative stuff (i think ive become an expert signing forms, writing letters/sms-ing to teachers and speaking to vice-principals and HODs).
i have since realised that juggling work and family is no mean feat so a new-found-higher (super higher) level of respect to all working mothers. hopefully, by the time i have children i can be a full time home maker who runs some sort of business to supplement the family's income. the business should, by the way, be something i truly enjoy and would benefit the ummah, in one way or another. (hhmmm, social enterprise?)
by the way, while the parents were away on hajj, my nephews decided to fall more than usual and get themselves stitched. hakim had seven stitches on his head a day before his parents went off (and a week before he starts primary one) while hazim just got 4 stitches on his lips last week (my mum's call sent me scurrying to KKH at 4.30pm - grateful for having an understanding boss). getting him to agree to a local anaesthesia (on his lips!!!) was a tricky matter but i quite enjoy seeing him being stitched - no, i am not a sadist, just that ive always been attracted to the medical profession. i havent took a picture of his swollen lips - maybe later tonight.
they are both fine now. alhamdulillah. quite proud of themselves really, comparing the number of stitches.
i will miss the children, and their constant presence around me (yes, i bring them to meetings sometimes since my mum cant cope with all 5 at home), their voice on the phone in the middle of the day, "mak busu, what time are you coming home?", and them running to me (either delighted to see me or to complain on the other bro who doesnt wish to share his toys etc - would miss the former more than the latter) when i come home from work all tired and exhausted.
but i think i am more than glad to take the "mother" hat off for now.
children are great responsibilities. potentials to be unleashed, guided they must be.
may they grow up to be good muslims, serving the community for the sake of allah, insya allah.
.: counting days :.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
.: rain on ledang:.
i love rain. i sincerely do. rain can brighten up my mood instantly. i am in fact more productive at school and at work when it is raining.
then, i realised, well, not always. not when i am carrying a WET bag of capacity 60+10l, with WET heavy clothes, wearing WET socks in WET boots, trekking down ledang, from base camp at kolam ayer gajah to the resort, at NIGHT. That itself almost took 6 whole hours, by the end of which, i was totally exhausted (i walk weird now)
oh yes, to the horror of my mom (who thinks that mountains should not be climbed during the rainy season - i shouldve heeded her warning), i climbed gunung ledang on the 15-16th december (more like 17th coz we were stuck there for sometime) with 12 others. part of fmsa programme for the out of school youth/youth at risk.
learnt a lot from the trip like the fact that i am not as fit as i used to be (i promised myself that i will start my jogging/sports routine again - there was a time i can jog to bedok reservoir from my home in simei without stopping even for a mere moment). of course more importantly, got to know the youth better. well, when you've climbed 1,276 m together in gruelling weather, all defences are down and sharing opinions, feelings and thoughts (which could be quite hard for the youth in normal circumstances) was an easy feat. we talked about love, life
and ...
oh, of course there's the perk of taking pictures with my VERY OWN panasonic lumix. blossom blogged about my purchase at sim lim square(the night before i went to ledang - i brought the manual up ledang but was too exhausted to read) so you may want to read http://withinmyneurons.blogspot.com/ ...
well, i didnt have the time to fully explore the functions of the camera but got excited using the zoom (12x optical zoom) and the macro mode (makes the tiniest flowers on the ground look oh so pretty)...also VERY grateful that the camera bag was shock and water resistant. took a total of 306 pics. the scenery from the summit was blocked by the rain and fog (hujan & bidai/kabus). one of the youth, described it aptly, "kak, ni macam scene dari mimpi-mimpi." (trans. kak, this looks like a scene from dreams)
close to nature, away from the busy-ness of town,it was a good time to reflect and ponder. the greatness of Allah who has created all.
and yes, i still love rain.
below, a picture of leaves on ledang grounds. a brief reflection.
For, with Him are the keys to the things that are beyond the reach of a created being's perception: none knows them but He. And He knows all that is on land and in the sea; and not a leaf falls but He knows it; and neither is there a grain in the earth's deep darkness, nor anything: living or dead,
but is recorded in [His] clear decree.
surah al-an'am 6:59
Sunday, December 10, 2006
.: malay :.
me: hakim, kenapa hakim suka hari raya?
hakim: sebab hakim boleh pakai "baru kasut"!!! *smiles gleefully*
"baru kasut" - a literal translation of new shoes. Those who do know malay would immediately find fault in the phrase' structure. shouldve been "kasut baru" instead. Recently, hazim said "sekolah beg"(school bag) instead of beg sekolah. to my mum's horror, 6 year old hakim doesnt know how to count, citing the number eleven or sebelas in malay, as "satu belas" (this problem was rectified in one night - my mum had what- i- would- call the "numbers-drill" with him before he went to sleep)
it is of course not the children's fault. Growing up in a house (we live next door to each other so more like 2=1 house) where parents, aunties and uncles speak english constantly with the exception of their grandparents (we insist they speak more malay with their atuk & nenek), english-speaking friends and english-language TV programmes, it is no wonder that they would turn out the way they are.
not that we dont place importance on the malay language - yes, we get worried when their malay exams are round the corner. we, of course, do not hide our expectations that they should score As especially in their mother tongue. "jangan malukan bangsa ok. ur abah, emak, cik sainy, cik nana and mak busu(myself) used to get A*s, A1s and awards for malay tau." (now to think of it, kesian jugak budak-budak ni)
ooops, now that i mentioned it, teringat pulak, yes, i used to ace my malay, getting awards for the language year after year (some of my peers actually thought that i would become a malay teacher). oh well, until the asean scholars came while i was in secondary three and i had to concede defeat. bahasa melayu dieorang POWER! But now that i dont speak much malay, my malay has gone "karat". the last time i gave a talk in malay to an audience of 200 odd people, the makcik thought i was malaysian.
POKOKNYA (one of my fav words- translated to mean " the point being") i still do believe that malay as a language and as a culture is still important & relevant. the language is wonderful, kind and subtle, delicate even - nature as a common reference in its idioms. the culture (the good ones) which includes cooperation, communality, respect and reverence to the elders and putting others before self are some things that would do good if instilled in the young today. malay is also a language that has reference to arabic and islam.
bahasa menunjukkan bangsa dan budaya. bahasa melayu melambangkan budaya, dan budaya kita seharusnya budaya islam.
semoga adat, bahasa dan budaya tak lekang dek zaman, tak luput dek hujan. terus segar membina jati diri seorang melayu muslim.
hakim: sebab hakim boleh pakai "baru kasut"!!! *smiles gleefully*
"baru kasut" - a literal translation of new shoes. Those who do know malay would immediately find fault in the phrase' structure. shouldve been "kasut baru" instead. Recently, hazim said "sekolah beg"(school bag) instead of beg sekolah. to my mum's horror, 6 year old hakim doesnt know how to count, citing the number eleven or sebelas in malay, as "satu belas" (this problem was rectified in one night - my mum had what- i- would- call the "numbers-drill" with him before he went to sleep)
it is of course not the children's fault. Growing up in a house (we live next door to each other so more like 2=1 house) where parents, aunties and uncles speak english constantly with the exception of their grandparents (we insist they speak more malay with their atuk & nenek), english-speaking friends and english-language TV programmes, it is no wonder that they would turn out the way they are.
not that we dont place importance on the malay language - yes, we get worried when their malay exams are round the corner. we, of course, do not hide our expectations that they should score As especially in their mother tongue. "jangan malukan bangsa ok. ur abah, emak, cik sainy, cik nana and mak busu(myself) used to get A*s, A1s and awards for malay tau." (now to think of it, kesian jugak budak-budak ni)
ooops, now that i mentioned it, teringat pulak, yes, i used to ace my malay, getting awards for the language year after year (some of my peers actually thought that i would become a malay teacher). oh well, until the asean scholars came while i was in secondary three and i had to concede defeat. bahasa melayu dieorang POWER! But now that i dont speak much malay, my malay has gone "karat". the last time i gave a talk in malay to an audience of 200 odd people, the makcik thought i was malaysian.
POKOKNYA (one of my fav words- translated to mean " the point being") i still do believe that malay as a language and as a culture is still important & relevant. the language is wonderful, kind and subtle, delicate even - nature as a common reference in its idioms. the culture (the good ones) which includes cooperation, communality, respect and reverence to the elders and putting others before self are some things that would do good if instilled in the young today. malay is also a language that has reference to arabic and islam.
bahasa menunjukkan bangsa dan budaya. bahasa melayu melambangkan budaya, dan budaya kita seharusnya budaya islam.
semoga adat, bahasa dan budaya tak lekang dek zaman, tak luput dek hujan. terus segar membina jati diri seorang melayu muslim.
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